family constellation
A few weeks ago I wrote a blog article about “no more snakes on the path” and talked about how I realized I was still looking out for rattlesnakes in the early fall this year, even though I no longer live in the desert. The minute I hit “send” on my email, I realized, “I’ll probably start seeing snakes again.” And can you believe it? The very next day(!) I was riding my bike on the Illinois Prairie Path and right across the path was a snake! But it was a little cute, thin black snake and my first thought was, “oh, how cute!” And then – “I KNEW it! I just knew I would see a snake as soon as I hit send on that email!”
I screeched to a halt with my brakes so as not to run over it – and then I fumbled around trying to get to my phone for a photo! I couldn’t believe my eyes! Right on the path was a little black gardener snake – The funny thing is that before I could get to my camera app, it had quickly slithered away into the grass. I was the one who created the fear this time! (Ok – obviously even a rattlesnake doesn’t, on its own, create fear – it’s our survival response.. but it felt like I was more of a threat to the gardener snake than it was to me!)
So I had the opportunity to look at conditioned fear responses or triggers from a different perspective – the aggressor. So the snake is a shadow archetype for me:
Being female and having experienced sexual assault by a family member throughout my childhood and then by a few more perpetrators over my high school and college years, I was used to feeling the part of the victim. But there are always 2 sides to the “dance” and in Family Constellation work, the victims and perpetrators are always entangled. It’s too complex to write about in a short article but there are many constellation books that take on this tough subject.
What I do know simply, is that until I could see myself as BOTH/AND in all relationships of my life, I kept defaulting to the victim role. So by habit, I was always the one who would get bit by the snake, or singled out for a date rape. But what happens when I decided to strike back? To take an aggressive stance? This is a very complex and delicate topic, one that I hope to cover in a paradigm-shifting way in my next webinar.
This is what family constellation work has done for me: shift my perspective and detached me from conditioned roles of the past. I now have a new awareness about both sides of the relationship dynamic. In attaining this, there are no more dangerous snakes on the path, just snakes – who are doing their best to survive and to carry on life, just as we are, in human form.
I invite you to join me on Thursday at 5 pm Central time to learn some of the perspective altering shifts that can result from Family Constellation work in 1:1 relationships.
In the self-help industry we are taught that if we just think the right thoughts, visualize the right images, and repeat positive affirmations, we can create change in our individual lives. From personal experience, I see this now as a limiting perspective and it relates to “under-understanding”.
What is under-understanding? This means that we have a personal understanding, part of which is correct, but this personal level under-estimates the greater whole – the whole that makes the difference between the desire to change and actual capability to change.
As I said in my last article, you can’t heal something that isn’t yours in the first place!
Two examples:
If your mother was anxious, fearful and ambivalent about being pregnant with you – you will have been “steeped” in the amniotic fluid of this emotion for 9 months – and you will likely have inherited epigenetic markers that “turn on” when your life gets stressful – and then think that your anxiety is all about “you”. But in large part (some say as much as 70%) it is not yours!
If your father had a career dream that he gave up in order to be responsible for his family, you may have inherited his deep frustration, unspoken resentment and longing for something better, and now, you carry the epigenetic markers that are impacting your own level of success when you follow your dream. How? by triggering frustration, resentment and unmet longing in you. And you can’t positive-affirm yourself out of this state of being.
In my next online line event, I will share with you what you CAN do that is easier and far more effective than the processes I describe above – I.e. self-help.
This may seem far-fetched, but recent studies (2020) are showing more and more, that these inherited mental and emotional states are indeed transferred to our offspring. I’m referring to actual markers that epigenetic scientists are locating from parent to child to grandchild that can track to certain emotional/mental conditions like anxiety, depression and hopelessness.
I will refer to these scientific findings in my upcoming event.
Without this greater perspective, the gap between desire and capability can be a deep chasm that takes years to cross.
But with this new understanding, the very thing (emotional/mental state) that has been holding you back for years, can be just a small gap that takes a short time to traverse – into an expanded new reality. And that short step can make a world of difference in our capability to shift out of inherited patterns and habits that keep repeating in our lives, holding us back from our full potential.
If this is of interest to you, I invite you to join me for my online event “Seeing the bigger picture of our family inheritance – Stepping into your full potential” on Saturday, April 17th at 10 am Central Daylight Time.
For more information, please email me at ronna@sacredjourneyoftheheart.com
Happy Spring holidays to you from my heart! Whether you are celebrating Easter, Passover or simply the return of spring, this time of year offers us new possibilities to start afresh, to renew our enthusiasm for life and to plant new seeds of inspiration that will blossom into the gifts that we offer to our friends, family and the world at large.
But what if there is something that seems to thwart this process? What if our urge to shed old patterns, habits and beliefs loops back into the ‘same-old, same-old’? What if we still feel stuck or blocked or unclear about our path forward?
In my experience, this is a clear indication that you are probably dealing with a systemic cause that prevents the ‘new beginning’ opportunities in springtime from fully blossoming.
What is a systemic cause? It is an event, feeling or belief that is entangled in your family system. This means that on you can’t heal it because doesn’t belong to you. But the “stuckness”, or repetition or heavy emotion feels as if it yours, but it is not! You inherited it from someone in your family system. This why we call it a “system-ic cause.”
You cannot heal what doesn’t belong to you.
Here is an example:
I recently worked with a client to take a deeper look at some persistent frustrations and blocks. In other words, we were on the hunt to uncover her inherited family dynamics. This means we were doing a family constellation session. When something persists, despite numerous attempts to heal it, there is no doubt in my mind and in my experience as a family constellation facilitor, that these issues did not start with you!
We looked at her core trauma sentence which was: “There’s something wrong with me.” When we explored her “core language map”, we drilled down to this sentence that lives inside her and drives repeating patterns, relationship disconnects and even lingering symptoms that don’t respond to treatment. During my 4 years of family constellation training, I’ve learned to uncover this language map which provides a key to transformation.
In general, our core sentences have the potential to link to something that happened to our parents or earlier generations, and was passed on to us through “epigenetic inheritance”. This is the way that trauma and feeling-thinking patterns get passed down through the generations. (I explain the science behind this in my online events, including some very exciting breakthrough research that was published by Dr. Rachel Yehuda in November 2020).
This deep core sentence was driving at least 3 issues in her life: 1) lack of entering a new relationship after the death of her husband years ago, 2) lingering physical symptoms, 3) challenges in getting her very innovative work out into the world. Wow! That’s a lot riding on one sentence – but this is common.
When we get to the core driver behind our challenges, we can take a systemic view of the inheritance patterns that we are born into – and from here, with the full cooperation of our family system, we can untangle ourselves from this core trauma that has been repeating in our family for generations.
This entire process occurs at the level of quantum entanglement – and real-time healing happens in the Now, for our entire system.
We now know through developments in quantum physics and quantum consciousness, that we are all connected in the Knowing Field. This means that all information about our family history (the whole), is known by all the parts (the individuals). And when we bring the parts together, with dignity and respect, without blame and judgment, the parts reorganize to a greater wholeness. And things that have been lurking the shadows of the past, emerge into the light of the present, and with love and compassion for everyone in the system, we can finally let go of what was not ours to carry in the first place, and finally, fully heal.
I have seen happen in my own life and family system and in the lives of my clients over the last 4 years. When we get to the still point, the quietness in the moment of recognition and release, everyone in our family going back generations, experiences a shift of consciousness, a greater opening of heart, and a release of thoughts and beliefs that have kept the old story running, sometimes for centuries. This process is what I can a Quantum Leap in Conscious Love.
When this happens, we are no longer bound by an unconscious entanglement to keep doing, feeling and thinking in the same way as our ancestors. Before this quantum leap, we are held unconsciously by stories and experiences that happened before we were born. After, we are truly freed – and this freedom is obtained with the full blessing and support of our family system. This is what I call, “Healing with Joy.”
We no longer need to muck around in trauma and “who did what to whom,” and engage in long, repetitive processes of talking and trying many different modalities of healing. This is why I know that Family Constellation is truly a Quantum Leap into a new time. Some astrologers say that since December 2020, we are now officially in the Age of Aquarius as signaled by new ideas, innovation and deeper connections. I believe that this is why Family Constellation which offers a Systemic and Somatic healing process is taking the world by storm. The growth in this work is exponential in almost every country in the world.
Back to my client’s example. My client was the first girl in the family and so was her mother. Her mother was born in 1935, during the lead-up to World War II. Her father went off to war in the 1940s. During this time, her mother had an affair, ended up divorcing her father when he came back to the USA and marrying the new man, who did not go to war. As a result of this second marriage, my client’s mother, now about 10 years old, was sent away to live with her maternal grandparents for a time.
We were able to trace this sentence “there’s something wrong with me”, back to her mother, who must have felt this when she was sent away by her own mother, after losing her father who was no longer in the picture, with no real explanation given to her other than whispers about “war”.
This led us back a generation to her grandmother, who by all accounts, in the 1940s did something considered to be immoral by society. And undoubtedly, her grandmother must have had thoughts and feelings projected on her such as “there’s something wrong with her to do this to her husband.” And undoubtedly, this gave rise to the Grandmother’s own internal thoughts and feelings of “wrongness” based on her behavior and choices.
This feeling and core sentence most likely goes back even further to ancestors one generation back, who immigrated from England to the USA, leaving the Motherland and family members behind.
Then we proceeded to do the real work in a constellation session which is have a Quantum Conversation with her family members, ultimately giving this energy of wrongness back to her mother and grandmother, where they can now completely heal it in the world of the soul.
Again, you cannot heal what does not belong to you. But you CAN shift your perspective and see that you no longer need to carry thoughts and feelings that don’t belong to you. This simple shift frees our energy and allows us to focus on the gifts in the present, vs the unhealed trauma of the past. And this is the beauty of family constellation work.
It leaves us with a much lighter sense of taking responsibility for only what is ours, and leaving the rest with our ancestors. And our ancestors are very happy to take back what belongs to them. No family member wants to burden their offspring with inherited traumas.
When we bring our entire system into a session, we are honoring first and foremost, the strength, resilience and dignity of our ancestors. The only reason we are standing here today, is because they found a way to live and to pass on life so that we can have our lives now, in a very different time. As we fully embrace this gift, it truly opens us to a time of renewal of hope and new beginnings that for the first time, can fully bloom into our hearts and from here, into the world.
For me, this is the true meaning of Springtime and all the beautiful religious and spiritual traditions that honor the promise of a new beginning.
New Webinar on Activating True Soul Purpose Oct 3, 2019 at 4 pm Pacific time: please email me for details if you did not receive my newsletter: ronna@sacrejourneyoftheheart.com
In the webinar, we will:
- Uncover your true gifts and talents
- Remove obstacles and blocks that prevent you from taking the Big Leap
- Clear the source of 2 things that keep you stuck: “I can’t because” and “F-E-A-R” or what I call “familiar energy appearing repetitively”.
- Create a clear pathway to manifesting your vision, using the tools of Quantum Manifestation, a 7 part process that draws a new reality TO you!
You haven’t heard from me in awhile, since July actually, because I’ve been letting the dust settle after a period of major upheaval and challenge. As you may recall, my 22 year-old daughter was diagnosed with leukemia at the beginning of 2019. At that time, I was in the beginning stages of selling my home and moving to Chicago, a long-awaited plan, and then everything was turned on its head. All planning came to a halt and my entire family focused on supporting Sophie through her healing journey here in Scottsdale, AZ. It felt like a long “haboob”, the name for the dust storms that engulf our city during the monsoon months of August-September: this is a real photo!
During Aug-Sept in AZ we have dust storms called HAboobs!
I’m happy to report that since mid-July, she has been entirely healthy and cancer-free, with no evidence of disease, based on many tests including one called “MRD”, minimal residual disease, of which she has none! Her diagnosis came only a few months after my cancer experience in 2018 where I was successfully treated for early-stage breast cancer using a combination of allopathic and alternative medicines.
I wrote about it in a blog article called “Layers of Happiness” on March 3rd. If you missed it, here it is:
http://sacredjourneyoftheheart.com/blog/?p=653
In March 2019, we still had a long way to go on Sophie’s healing journey, but I was finally ready at that time to share my own experience and put in into the context of how it showed me the stunning accuracy of my intuition over the years of “inner knowing”. I use my intuition with my clients in every session and my intuition is what guides my own life decisions.
My intuition told me to take some time off this summer, to reflect deeply on what this last 12 months has been all about, and then to reset, renew and redefine my purpose.
I’ve taught on a lot of subjects over the years and as I reflect on what the number one question I’m asked by my clients, it relates to what I’ve been teaching: Finding your true mission and purpose.
An important aspect of uncovering this is connecting with your true soul identity, or true soul nature. I have been facilitating this for clients over the years and I see an even more intense inner urging felt by people to do what really matters to them now and in the years ahead.
There is a general sense that something BIG is about to happen, maybe even on a global level. I’ve been talking about this in public since 2014 when I presented a channeling for a packed house at the Sedona Creative Life Center. The venue was packed not because of me, but because of the wonderful event put on by Karen Koebnick of Stellar Productions, including Gregg Braden’s keynote presentation. My talk was called:
Heart Vision 2020: Energizing a Clear Pathway to Transformation 2020 Envision, Create, Activate your Heart’s Wisdom.
What I’ve discovered over the years is that everyone I meet is impelled at a deep inner level, to do something that connects with their soul purpose and uses their heart intuition. Unfortunately, we don’t learn this in school and most of us don’t learn it from our parents. What happens is that we start seeking and searching but by the time we do this, most of us have responsibilities, kids, pets, bills to pay and a career path that may not be fulfilling.
I started on this path about 15 years ago and along the way I have found complementary modalities that have helped me and many, many clients connect with their True Soul Purpose. These processes include HeartMath (for de-stressing and listening to your intuition), Loving Kindness Meditation, Soul Codes (a process I created to listen to the wisdom of your soul), Past Life Healing, 12 chromatic Chakra balancing and my latest modality: Family Constellation Healing that uncovers and detangles hidden loyalties and repeating patterns that started before you were even born! This is based on the science of epigentic inheritance. These inherited patterns can have a stranglehold on expanding into our true soul purpose. If you are not familiar with this work, you will most definitely want to attend my free webinar on October 3, 2019 to learn more!
Because connecting with true soul purpose is what most people come to me to uncover, I have created a “Clear Pathway” for this process that I am now rolling out in a structured program. The program is called “Activating True Soul Purpose”.
In this program, we will:
- Uncover your true gifts and talents
- Remove obstacles and blocks that prevent you from taking the Big Leap
- Clear the source of 2 things that keep you stuck: “I can’t because” and “F-E-A-R” or what I call “familiar energy appearing repetitively”.
- Create a clear pathway to manifesting your vision, using the tools of Quantum Manifestation, a 7 part process that draws a new reality TO you!
If this is of interest, please join me on a webinar to explore the process on Thursday, October 3rd at 4pm Pacific, 5 pm Mountain, 6 pm Central and 7 pm eastern time. In the 45 minute webinar, I will outline the program and describe the processes I use to create a clear pathway to Activating True Soul Purpose. Everyone attending the webinar will receive my intro webinar: Seeing Clearly: One Word to Life’s Purpose.
I believe that during the final 3 months of 2019 will set the stage for 2020 to be your breakthrough year!
for more information about my work, visit www.ronnaprince.com
According to my Family Constellation teacher, Marina Toledo, worldwide interest in this modality is increasing exponentially. Here is an image from a recent session with a client of one of ways we create a Meta-Image of the family soul for healing
Here is what Marina shared with me on July 2nd: “When we are born into a family, we get entangled at the soul level with events and people that were not talked about by our ancestors (due to too much pain, shame, guilt, etc.) and we are unconsciously loyal to the way our predecessors lived their life. Later on, these unconscious programs hold us back from doing well in life if they were not able to, so we tend to repeat their unhappy relationships, financial struggles, illnesses, limiting emotional patterns, etc. Since I travel to facilitate in different countries, I am noticing an increasing interest in epigenetics and the effects of inherited family trauma worldwide. Family Constellations has become the most well-known methodology to bring to light these unconscious programs in order to untangle yourself from living out the destiny of your ancestors and free yourself up to live the life you are really meant to live.”
Wow! How powerful is that? And I have been training diligently with Marina in order to bring this modality to the USA as a more effective and easy way of healing inherited dramas and traumas, otherwise called “epigenitic inheritance”.
Some of the most intriguing research over the past few years has been on the subject of transgenerational epigenetic inheritance.
Transgenerational epigenetic inheritance is the transmission of information from one generation of an organism to the next that affects the traits of offspring without alteration of the primary structure of DNA —in other words, epigenetically
One study published in 2018 demonstrated that memories of environmental changes were passed down through 14 (yes -14!) generations, the largest time span ever recorded in a creature being studied. Granted, this was a study on the nematoad or roundworm, but the results provided resounding proof of the transmission of memories that impacted the physiology of future generations. Here is the article:
More about human studies from the article: “..research suggests that events in our lives can indeed affect the development of our children and perhaps even grandchildren – all without changing the DNA.
For example, studies have shown that both the children and grandchildren of women who survived the Dutch famine of 1944-45 were found to have increased glucose intolerance in adulthood.
Other researchers have found that the descendants of Holocaust survivors have lower levels of the hormone cortisol, which helps your body bounce back after trauma.
I am working on writing out some case studies from recent examples of healings with my clients, in the meantime, I can share this personal example:
In my own family, my youngest son was incapacitated with chronic migraines from age 14-18 unable to go to school or have a social life. In a constellation session, we uncovered that he was carrying a “hidden loyalty” – something that happens as an inherited trauma at the unconscious level, to two of our ancestors that died of head trauma:
1) my dad’s brother, uncle Wesley, died at age 5 in 1930 by falling out of tree and hitting his head, and 2) my maternal grandmother’s brother, my great-uncle Karl who died at age 18 in 1931, by diving head-first into the shallow end of a swimming pool.
How could these two untimely deaths have impacted my son who was born 70 years AFTER these incidents in 1930 and 1931, one on each side of my family tree?
The explanation comes from the burgeoning study of “transgenerational epigenetic inheritance.” (see article above)
Thomas inherited this double-trauma memory through me, his mom, and he was unconsciously holding a loyalty to these two young men, both whom lost their lives early on to head trauma – before their adult lives even started. After the FC session, we started to find answers for Thomas’ headaches, he began to heal, to have less frequent and less severe migraines. He graduated from high school and headed off to college in the Fall of 2018!
I am now using tools and sacred objects with my clients to create a Meta-picture of the family soul dynamics. The image at the top of the article shows how I have been using representatives of family members for healing. It is a fun process and it works! Stay tuned for more examples. To contact me for an intro FC session: call 602-315-6335
On the largest scale I have ever witnessed, we are holding people accountable for their actions. We are having new conversations about respect, honesty and integrity.
When I think of some of the things I tolerated in my earlier years because of how I was raised to be a good and quiet little girl, I am no longer sad. Today, I feel inspired, knowing that my daughter and my sons will not do what I did in the past: stay silent. I started talking about what happened to me in 2009 and made a film about it that was released in 2012.
Now, at the beginning of 2018, we have an opportunity to take the conversation deeper into the actual cause of things- not just sit back and watch and say “how terrible”. The real cause of any person harming a less powerful individual, is that there is a buried secret or hidden loyalty that drives them to create pain for some reason. No abuser ever comes out of nowhere, with no pain in their past, and just starts hurting people. No abuse victim stays silent, unless somewhere along the line, secrets and shame were reinforced and intertwined.
I spent the year in 2017 deeply immersed in personal work and study of family constellations based on the work of Bert Hellinger. This is NOT the same as family systems in the field of psychology! It is very different. One of the differences is that constellation work is based on the concept (and in my opinion, reality) of the family soul.
The family soul is a powerful force behind each of our lives. When we shine the light on what is buried deep within our family soul and all those that are closely connected to it, we have the capacity to free ourselves from unconscious patterns. We can understand what is occurring in our lives in a very different way. We free ourselves and others from blame and can truly live with clarity and integrity. This work is similar to Radical Forgiveness but we don’t use the word forgiveness in constellations. We DO however, see the bigger picture and the intertwining of all the people involved. And we are absolutely freed from resentment and blame of self and others.
Diving into this work is very similar to doing any kind of physical detox program. With this work, you can uncover and release the source of what has led to some of the most daunting challenges in your life – whether it’s relationship conflict, job related challenges, financial stress, or a nagging feeling that you are not living in alignment with your purpose. Your true self becomes crystal clear.
Here is an example (used with permission): a client came to me intrigued by the new work I was doing. She had a nagging feeling that she was “missing something”, and underneath that was a deep feeling that her life would end without having accomplished her true purpose in the world. (This woman, by the way, is a very accomplished and conscious individual!) Even deeper than this first layer of fear, as we explored her family soul together, was a fear that she would die alone, unheard and unloved. What we discovered together, was that this very deep feeling was rooted in a real life tragedy that happened in her family. It was never fully grieved and not talked about much.
My clients father’s side was one of 4 boys in the family. The only girl, the first child of in the her father’s family, died at age 2, from a drowning accident. My client also, is the first child in her family! My client shared with me that her father’s parents were both deaf…. so no one heard their little girl’s cries for help. Out of great love, my client had embedded a hidden loyalty to her aunt, unconsciously carrying the memory of this little girl forward so that she would be included in some way, in the family soul. My client recalled that she almost drowned in her mother’s amniotic fluid during birth and had to be in an incubator for the first weeks of her life. This is the kind of pattern we typically see in this work. Once revealed, we no longer wonder.. it is clear as day that from day 1, she was loyally connected to her aunt.
When my client saw this picture in great clarity, she had a powerful emotional and neurological release. It shifted the perspective on her life to the very core and foundation. She has been doing simple healing work to free herself of the hidden loyalty and to consciously include her aunt in her family soul with love and respect.
We worked on this issue on a special coaching avatar platform that I use.It allows us to clearly see the cast of people in the family soul – and transform the picture to a healing image during the session.
This platform can be accessed anywhere in the world so I can help you no matter where you are!
This is truly a life-changing process. I invite you to explore this work with me as your compassionate, intuitive, and loving coach. Offers on my website: http://sacredjourneyoftheheart.com/Store
Heartfelt Gratitude,
Ronna