stress reduction
A quick “go-to” strategy and a longer term, permanent “fix”
Have you ever prepared to confront someone who has said or done something that you need to address? If you reflect on a conflict-confrontation, you might recall how much time you spent thinking and rehearsing what you would say and you can probably remember the feelings you had around the event, including physiological sensations: nervousness, anxiety, sweaty palms, pounding heart, shortness of breath and queasy stomach. The physical signs are all related to the adrenal fight-flight response and it literally wears the body down with stress related hormones like cortisol.
Because of the intensity of the feelings, many of us have learned how to avoid most conflicts. Our “go-to” strategy is to just let IT go, to say “it’s ALL good”, and move on. This works sometimes because not all conflict is worth confronting.
But on big issues, there’s a cost to this caving in and not standing up for ourselves. And the cost encompasses many things: lower self-esteem, living in compromise, and sometimes loss of money.
Having experienced this myself and come out the other side, I know this is one of the most important life skills to master and to be at ease when dealing with conflict and standing up for myself!
Courage
Is there a quick fix for this? In my experience, yes and no. I have made a lot of progress in handling conflict over the years by utilizing cognitive and spiritual programs and techniques. I’ve done things like learn to tell myself to “stop”, take a breath and choose to let it go or to speak up. I’ve practiced the Sedona Method, an innovative system in which you ask yourself a series of questions. When an unwanted feeling comes up, you can release it using this method. This comes in handy when dealing with fear and anxiety over conflict. I’ve also tried other techniques such as EMDR, EFT, Psych-K and a whole alphabet soup list of things.
I’ve even become certified in and teach the very powerful and effective techniques of HeartMath and Radical Forgiveness. Like the others I’ve mentioned, these techniques work if you work with them.
I repeat: They all work. Yes, they do! But for me at least, they only worked temporarily and most of the time, it felt like pushing the same boulder up the same mountain. A lot of effort that resulted in me feeling tired, and then “letting it go”, eventually caving in.
So, bottom line and long term, at least from my perspective, the true answer was “no”, there was no quick fix or lasting solution for dealing with conflict.
That is until this year, 2014, when I learned that my conflict-avoidance, cave-in behavior was hard wired into my brain’s neuro-pathways. Now I can say that there IS a fix, and it’s relatively quick and it’s permanent!
My conclusion, based on experience, is that the missing link is the hard-wiring in a structure deep in the brain that contributes to resurfacing of old patterns. Cognitive and spiritual programs do not directly address the physiology of our brain. So what occurs is that while we can think our way through conflict, meditate, pray and spiritually understand what’s occurring, the underlying physiological wiring is still deeply embedded in the brain. Eventually we revert to this. This is why so many of us have tried multiple things that eventually give up on and may even find ourselves saying “nothing works”! You CAN unplug from this pattern!
Here is brain-based solution that you can test drive and begin to unwire old stress-based patterns in the privacy of your own home. It’s called Brain Tek Mobile Solutions and is an easy way to begin to release the brain-based stress response.
Click here for Brain Tek Solutions
I recommend listening to the Stress Relief Mobile Sound Therapy to calm your brain and then make better decision about dealing with conflict.
A more personalized approach is to explore the Behavioral Relationship Entrainment program that I offer through Brain Tek Institute. This has proven to be the missing link to easy and effective change that I have been searching for. It is proving to be the same thing for my clients that have gone through the program with me.
Last month I presented the BRE program in a webinar with Dr. Dennis Manness, it’s founder. BRE is an innovative and very unique sound-based protocol that literally re-boots your brain by rewiring neural pathways to more efficient and optimal thought-behavior patterns.
If you are interested in learning more, email me or stay tuned for the next free webinar on this topic in early December. The Brain Tek program is very different from brain-wave entrainment programs that you may have heard about. This new program that I’m certified to administer is individually tailored to create new neural pathways in your brain in 4 to 6 weeks, all in the comfort of your own home, as you listen to signals embedded in music that are tailored to address your particular issues. It’s the easiest and most effective process I have discovered or myself and am now sharing with my family, friends and clients. And, unlike any other program I’ve tried or taught, it exceeds expectations with the positive results!
Less than 4 weeks to Optimism, Peace and Contentment
At the end of this article is information about a free teleconference on October 7, 2014 at 6 pm Pacific Time to learn more about this topic.
Excerpt from Sacred Journey of the Heart, Chapter 3. Tracy Roman, former attorney-turned- activist” for social change: “I know what my day’s going to look like tomorrow, and the next day and the next. Am I happy? And when the honest answer was no, then what am I fearing by making a change?”
Have you ever been so stressed out about a situation that that everything you’ve ever learned in managing day-to-day life went out the window? Or have you ever found yourself worrying and ruminating, creating more stress and anxiety for yourself and not know how to stop the “mind chatter” cycle?
Mind Chatter
That’s exactly what happened to me this past Spring and since then, I’ve found what I’m personally calling the “Holy Grail” of inner peace and optimism.
I have been on the search for the “Holy Grail” for years, trying one thing after another. A new process would work for a time but then old thoughts and behaviors would creep back in. At some “basic level”, I was a life-long pessimist, ruminator, worry-wart and anxiety-addict. Talk about frustration! Even after producing a full-length film and learning about heart-based living from some of the best experts on the planet, I kept default-programming into my old patterns.
So back in late May, I found myself in the middle of a very stressful situation that triggered every one of my old programs about struggle, self-worth and powerlessness. The details are not important other than to share with you that everything I learned, teach and share went out the window for me. Nothing worked. Not Radical Forgiveness, not Heart-based Coherence, not tapping (EFT), not Psych-K or any other cognitive-spiritual based modalities that had proven effective in the past.
I was discussing my frustration with one of my colleagues and she suggested that I try a new brain-based technology. I was in the throes of pessimism and the first thing out of my mouth was “I’ve already done it –and it didn’t work!” AKA, “been-there-done-that syndrome.” Next, I told her I was tired of trying new things and had come to the conclusion that I had to give up the fight and keep up my outer façade of “It’s All Good”. After all, if I just kept on “acting as if….”, maybe someday I would wake up a changed and better, sunnier person. Maybe just like Gweneth Paltrow, the latest icon of:
It’s all good?
My colleague patiently explained to me that the program she was referring to is different than the brainwave entrainment therapies that everyone is talking about. The program she shared with me is based on individualized treatment of a person’s neurological brain lobe-specific wiring. The protocol looks at behaviors (not brain waves) and traces them back to the hard-wired brain lobe that runs the program. The therapy literally re-routes the neural pathways so that permanent behavioral change can take place. After hesitating for a few days, I had the insight that it was time to invest in myself, rather than to invest in my default position of pessimism and doubt.
It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. In a matter of a few weeks, I had an entirely new outlook on life, my old default patterns were wiped out and I was sleeping through the night. And even better, I had week by week scientifically verified progress reports on exactly what was happening in my brain!
I found out that 3 lobes of my brain were the “Default Directors” that took over the show when I became stressed. These 3 areas of the brain are: the basal ganglia, the cingulate gyrus and the limbic system. These are parts of the brain that deal with repetitive thought patterns, regulating emotion, memory formation and storage, pain processing and habit formation. What happened under stress, was my frontal cortex, the higher thinking process and executive decision maker, went off-line. And the wired in programming took over.
A wired, tired brain
I finally understood why the other processes I had learned worked only up to a certain point. Cognitive and spiritual practices alone, were not effective in over-riding my brain-based wired-in patterns that were memorized over a lifetime of repetition. I am convinced that this is why so many people end up feeling WORSE after engaging in a “positive thinking” program, or a Spiritual healing practice that is supposed to work wonders. Yes, these things work, but only so far and more often than not, they go out the window when faced with a major life issue.
I am excited to share with you that I am now a certified Practitioner of Brain Tek Institute’s Behavioral Entrainment Program (BRE). I am able to provide this program to anyone in the world with high-speed internet access and stereo headphones. In 4 to 6 weeks, we will be able to re-wire your neural pathways using proprietary signals that effortlessly change your brain back to optimal functioning. This is NOT brainwave entrainment. It is very different.
I started offering this to my clients a few months ago and it has been nothing short of phenomenal to witness their results, week-by-week, as they have become free of anxiety, depression, worry, brain fog, memory issues and many physical symptoms like chronic pain, headaches and insomnia. Every single person is leaping for joy and experiencing significant progress that is verifiable.
Leaping for Joy!
My own progress continues to hold steady. The major stressor that sent me down this path is still going on, but I choose when to think about it and I no longer worry about worst-case-scenario. In other words, I have a renewed sense of enjoyment in life and for the first time, my optimistic outlook on life is permanent, not just a fleeting state based on outside circumstances.
I’m still a big fan of the heart, don’t get me wrong! I still use HeartMath’s Inner Balance® and emWave2® and I whole-heartedly believe and know that the electro-magnetic field of the heart is by far the strongest one in the body. I know the heart connects us all and sends signals into the field around us that can be measured and felt by others. But if the brain is mis-wired, the heart-field is clouded with the emotional baggage we are unconsciously broadcasting every moment. And that’s what draws to us, the undesirable situations that create stress – in frustrating loop that results in being stuck on a fence. There is a way out and it is easy and fast.
If you would like to learn more, please join me on a free teleconference on October 7, 2014 at 6 pm Pacific Time. You must register to attend. Once you register, you will receive a confirmation email with a dial-in number and PIN. I will be raffling two sound protocols: one at the beginning of the call and one at the end. You must be present during the call to win a prize! Email for registration: Ronna@sacredjourneyoftheheart.com
If you are like me and don’t want to wait, please email me and I will send you all the information about BRE right away.
Here’s my new closing:
Heart-felt and Brain-Balanced Gratitude!
5 Heart Warming C’s: Curiosity, Circulation, Correlation, Coherence, Commitment
“It’s time to lift the spirit of depression of each one around us….to melt the ice in the heart of humanity”.
This is one of my favorite lines in Sacred Journey of the Heart film, spoken by Angaangaq Angakkorsuaq, nicknamed “Uncle”, a Greenland Eskimo-Kalaallit Elder and shaman. Uncle is a passionate advocate for indigenous and environmental issues that impact us all. At the heart of it all, according to Uncle, is a world-wide disconnect from our hearts and heart of earth itself. I concur.
As I’ve learned from the Institute of HeartMath, our heart is the key organ that regulates the synchronization of the body as a whole. If you haven’t seen the film, you will enjoy the evidence presented by Dr. Rollin McCraty, HeartMath’s lead scientist and Gregg Braden, NYT best-selling author and researcher that transforms our understanding about the power of the heart. They also provide astounding evidence that there IS a collective heart, and an undeniable connection between the human heart and the earth.
Graphic from Sacred Journey of the Heart© Read the rest of this entry
If you’ve ever faced an unexpected event that threatened to derail something you’ve worked on for a long time, you know, as I do, that it’s a good idea to have a strategy or two to in place in order to react quickly and effectively and, with your intellect functioning under full power. I was reminded of this last week, the day before our screening of Sacred Journey of the Heart to international distributors during the Cannes Film Festival. I’m very grateful I was able to tap into my “Presence-Peace-Power” equation, because I certainly needed it!
I had lived through plenty of times where my default pattern was to go into what I now identify as Presumption-Panic-Impairment. As I revealed in the film, this pattern originated in my past of childhood abuse. All my HeartMath training and Radical Forgiveness work in the course of making the film gave me the healing tools I needed so that I would not: a) “presume the worst”, b) go into a panic and then c) make decisions and take actions that were “intellectually impaired”. We know now that the under stress and panic, the body marshals its reserves for a real battle, moving blood and oxygen supplies away from the higher cortical thinking centers of the brain and into the large muscles of the legs, arms and chest to prepare for action. This state does not facilitate good intellectual decision making!
It was Sunday morning and my distribution representative mentioned to me that I needed to bring my film’s blu-ray disk to the projection office for the screening the next day, Monday night at 8 pm. I was on my way out the door to attend a producers’ breakfast workshop and looking forward to an interesting day. When he told me this, my heart felt like it stopped for a moment, and I said, “Um, what do you mean me? I’m supposed to deliver a blu-ray disk? I don’t have one with me in France! I thought you had everything we needed for the screening!” He reminded me that we had emailed about this a few months ago — and then my heart felt like it actually dropped, when I had to admit, “OMG, I forgot! The blu-ray disks are in my office in Phoenix!” 
I could feel my old panic pattern begin raise its head as my heart was gearing up to start pounding. The second I felt this sensation, I stopped and focused on my heart, and consciously slowed down my breathing and my heart rate itself as I internally told myself, “ease-up, take a minute, slow down”. I had learned HeartMath’s latest technique called “Inner Ease” when I completed my training last December and this was my immediate go-to technique. Instead of allowing my imagination to go down the road of seeing a room full of distribution professionals and no film for them to view, I focused on tapping into a feeling of easing up and staying in Presence – or the present moment. We had time, albeit not much, to find a solution!
I was able to consciously slow down my heart rate because I’ve practiced heart coherence for a few years now. As a result, I can prevent myself from going into a full physiological adrenal stress response when it’s not needed. I’m sure I had a small burst of adrenaline but this is not a bad thing when you know how to come back to balance quickly. As Dr. Deborah Rozman, President of HeartMath LLC, says in the film, “In a state of coherence, you learn to live from a place where your heart and brain are in balance, your decisions are better and you don’t wear out your body!”
If you’re interested in learning the specific techniques of how to do this too, I’ll be teaching a 3 hour online HeartMath webinar that you can attend from anywhere as long as you have a computer and the internet. The webinar will include specific instructions on the Inner Ease practice and a number of other effective HeartMath techniques to use in these types of situations as well as in ordinary day to day interactions. The webinar will take place on June 14 from 9 to noon, Pacific time. Click here for more details.
After a minute or so of going into presence and inner peace, I was able to take effective action. I got on the phone to Fed Ex in the USA to find out if they could move heaven and earth and get a DVD from Arizona to southern France in less than 48 hours, beginning on a Sunday (it turns out they could!) At the same, we asked our distribution rep to call the film screening office at the Palais in Cannes to find out if they could project a high quality replicated DVD, of which I had brought plenty with me to France. It took about 30 minutes to get it all sorted out, but the good news is that from this place of power, versus panic, we were able to get to a quick and easy solution. And I didn’t put myself into massive physiological stress in the time that it took for us find the best solution for the issue at hand.
We had a full theater for our film screening on Monday night and the film looked as beautiful as ever (thanks Skip and Scott, our director and editor!) I encourage you to give yourself the gift of learning some practical techniques that improve the quality of your life in every day situations as well as those unexpected occurrences that inevitably come up!