This is a question posed near the end of my documentary film, Sacred Journey of the Heart:
Gregg Braden: “A question that comes to us again and again is how much power do we really have to influence the world? How strong is this power in the human heart?” Click here to watch film on GaiaTV
This question that Gregg asks is a fundamental one as we chose, day in and day out, how to act in the world. If we believe that our individual choices do not really matter in the larger scheme, we miss many opportunities to be agents of change. If we begin to explore and act from the amazing, verifiable power in our hearts, we not only change our own lives, but we experience the power we have to change the world around us.
I had a heart-empowered experience the last time I was at the airport. I am sharing this with you to demonstrate how each one of us has the capacity to change a situation of chaos into calm, callousness into caring and self-centeredness into service. This is needed now more than ever before.
If you fly the “friendly” skies a lot or even once in a while, you’ll notice how chaotic it’s become in airports. The stress level has increased tremendously with all the threats, the computer system breakdowns, with security procedures and even with the boarding process to get onto the planes.
Airports are way-stations for people in transit and they are wonderful places to observe human behavior. Being a certified hearth math instructor, the main reason I enjoy travelling as much as I do (about 75,000 miles a year), is that I know how to stay stress-free and choose to enjoy travel vs. dread it.
Not only that, but I know that using the present-moment awareness techniques of HeartMath, I can and regularly DO, successfully shift chaotic situations into calm ones.
Here’s what happened. I arrived 3 hours early to airport last week which is unusual for me but my transportation options made it necessary. I went into the airport with the intention to stay in heart-coherence, a measurable state that you consciously activate through a simple technique (taught in the film by Dr. Rolin McCraty of HeartMath). This state allows you to be in the flow, and to send a signal into the field around you that is calming. I also have a little prayer that I say which begins, “Make me an instrument of thy peace…” also known as the St. Francis of Assisi prayer.
Because I was so early, there was a flight that was leaving before the one I was booked on. So I thought I’d go to that gate and see if I could get a seat on the earlier flight. The gate agents had just started to board first class. There was a crowd of people, all bunched up around the boarding area and a lot of tension in the air. You can feel the anxiety and frustration many people are steeped in during the boarding process. This feeling is a result of the actual signal that is being broadcast from many people’s hearts rhythms. The question you may ask is: Is it really possible for one person to shift this? I know that the answer is “yes”.
So on that day, I stood at the back of the crowd and kept radiating gratitude and calm. Then I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. I turned and saw a beautiful young woman, about 18 years old standing next to me. She made it known very quickly that she was deaf. Then she showed me her boarding pass that had a “Zone 4” on it. She asked me with her fingers, are they boarding Zone 1, 2, 3 or 4?
Knowing the ins and outs of airline travel, I motioned to her, “follow me”. I then asked people to please step aside as I was making way for this young women to get on the plane. I knew that the gate agent would have no objection to her boarding early and getting settled into her seat. However, there was quite an outcry as we moved through the crowd of waiting people – for example: “Are you in first class?”, “Hey lady, there’s a line here” etc.
I stopped for a moment and still, sending out appreciation, said, “I’m not even on this flight, I am helping this young woman who can’t hear get onto this plane. Can you imagine being in an airport and not being able to hear the announcements?”
Everything shifted. People backed up, made a little aisle for us and even started to smile. A few people said thank you to me. And the whole energy shifted out of selfishness and the “me-first” callous attitude that can be prevalent in crowds. It changed in a few seconds to to people feeling genuinely grateful for a couple of things: that someone was helping another person, and maybe even feeling grateful for being able to hear, a sense faculty we usually take for granted.
When the young woman got to the jet bridge, she turned and gave me the heart-thanks symbol with her hands. I said thank you back to her, then ducked under the boarding-area rope, and went on my way, my heart expanding even more with gratitude that my prayer was answered and I was able to be an instrument of peace in that moment.
I encourage you to explore the power you have inside your own heart, to learn to use it to be an instrument of positive change and to live life in ever expanding gratitude.
I will be sharing the heart-math coherence technique in my upcoming webinar
Title: Creating Synchronicities
Time: Thursday, August 25th at 5:00 PM Pacific
Listening method: Phone + Web Simulcast
To attend, visit:
PLEASE EMAIL ME FOR THE EVENT PASSWORD: email@example.com
Phone Number: (425) 440-5100
Secondary Number: (619) 471-1669
Pin Code: 339751#
You may have heard the frequent reports on the news over the last few weeks about the shortage of TSA agents at the airports and the resultant long security lines, missed flights, and in Phoenix last week, 3,000 bags that didn’t even get on airplanes at all because the bag checking machines broke down!
So this morning, I went to the airport prepared to put my own tools and techniques in to practice. I talked about some of them in my article “Laughing it Up with the TSA” but that was before the TSA shortage of 6,000 agents in the face of a predictable increase in airline travel.
Apparently, I really meant to test myself because two unusual things happened this morning. 1) For the first time ever, I went to the wrong side of the terminal (the D gates) and waited in the pre-check line, until it was my turn to be ID-checked, only to have the TSA agent send me to the other side of the terminal to get into the A gates line. So I had to go through waiting in line again! And 2) I “beeped” through the security gate and got pulled over into the random security check line with 4 other people.
We were all corralled into a corner by a mafia-looking supervisor while we waited to have our hands swabbed for explosive residue – (I wanted to say, “I promise I washed my hands before coming to the airport!” – but just like with cops, I know it’s best to keep your mouth shut and have a pleasant grin on your face.)
While I was waiting in all of these lines, I noticed the high-level of stress swirling all around me. And I noticed also that despite my intentions, I had started to absorb the other people’s stress (OPS) around me by thinking “Group-think” nasty thoughts, and feeling stressed-out myself. I saw people grumbling, huffing big annoyed sighs, eyeball rolling and outright complaining along with some yelling. “This is ludicrous!” My own chatterbox mind was going a mile a minute, commenting internally, criticizing myself for getting in the wrong line with the wrong shoes, thinking nasty thoughts about the “TSA mafia” and judging others for their wrong behavior when there was nothing that they could do about the TSA procedures and lines.
“Hold the Phone!!”, I reminded myself! I just forgot to do what I know to do because I let dark OPS sneak up on me. I call “dark stress”, the kind of stress that you take on just because it’s all around you. This has a real and detrimental effect on the health of our bodies, the state of our emotions and the quality of our thoughts. We all know what this feels like, and if we take on enough of it, it internalizes and leads to all kinds of health problems.
Where does this dark stress come from? It comes from the heart-signals that everyone, including ourselves, is broadcasting into the environment around us. This is not woo-woo energy stuff, but the real and measurable signals that emanate from our hearts.
If we feel annoyed, angry, spiteful and worried, all of that has a frequency and that is what we send out to everyone around us. So the more we are in the middle of it, the more it can impact us so that we too, become attracted into doing, feeling and thinking the same dark OPS things!
So given the current conditions at the airport, it’s a place that we can easily be impacted/bombarded by the dark or negative emotions and thoughts of all the people around us. This applies of course, to every situation in our lives where there is stress – in family squabbles, a competitive working environment and in the impact of constant information coming at us through our electronic devices. So the question is: can we do anything about it?
As you know, the answer is we absolutely can do something simple and empowering to cancel out the impact of dark OPS. But even more, we can shift the energy around us by choosing to be a positive or light-hearted contributor in stressful places and situations.
So when I caught myself in the swirl of dark OPS, I went into my “Airport ZEN” mode. I did not detach from the situation and people around me, I stayed engaged and chose to change it.
HOW TO SHIFT DARK OPS
I shifted my focus from the outside and into the Observer Self on the inside. I sat back and observed myself watching what was going on inside my own mind as well as seeing the energies swirling around me. “Who am I?”, I asked. I am the one observing, I am the one who sees. (Note: for those of you interested in numerology, the question, “Who Am I?” =33. 33 is called the Master Spiritual Teacher number!)
In one second, everything quieted down inside, and I remembered to focus on my heart. I remembered to let go of the outside AND the inside noise by concentrating on the subtle feeling in my heart. And then, and only then, did I deepen into compassion. Compassion for the people around me, for myself and for the TSA.
Everything changed for me in this moment. I was happy to be exactly where I was, waiting to get my hands checked by a young, stressed out TSA agent. Instead of resenting him, I opened my heart and sent out a big wave of gratitude. I looked directly at him heart-fully saying, “Thanks so much!” as he gave me the “all clear” signal. Yes! Indeed I was all clear and I knew that in that moment, I had contributed to a clear space around me and maybe even brightened the young TSA agent’s day.
This little practice takes only a second or two to shift into and it completely cancels out the impact of Other People’s Stress in our own daily life. And even more importantly, when we truly open our hearts we are able share a ray of happiness and gratitude that just may help others. When we can lessen others’ stress, if only for a moment, we receive the gift of continuing on our journey with more lightness and joy inside our hearts.
Cheers to enjoying traveling the friendly skies where YOU can make a difference!
For more information on HeartMath coaching and my Triple Heart Healing Technique, please contact me at firstname.lastname@example.org
In the sizzling peak of our hot desert summer in Phoenix, Arizona, my kids have gotten me hooked into watching cooking shows for the first time ever: our favorites are Chopped! and Cupcake Wars. Getting engrossed in these shows, I can’t help but wonder- when did cooking become a competitive sport and so very, very stressful?
Also — when did TV watching become connected to “bingeing”? I thought bingeing was just about food and now there are all these shows about cooking under extreme stress, that you can binge-watch, while I guess, also binge eat! Or at least get some good food cravings going from all the great food being prepared!
When I realized that “desserts” is “stressed” spelled backwards, it’s no wonder that when we are stressed- we sometimes go for extra desserts!
It’s easier now than ever before to give in to cravings- and end up bingeing and feeling out of control. There have never been so many different ways we can distract ourselves and/or reward ourselves for dealing with the stress in our daily lives. I may be behind the curve with this trend because I didn’t ever know it existed, until I found myself binge-watching cooking shows. This lasted a few days until my kids and I were watching one episode that was very high stress and ended up with a cooking fire in the kitchen!
This led me to smack my forehead and say “get a grip Ronna! Turn off the TV and walk away from the cooking shows!” I had slipped into an adrenaline craving – i.e. watching TV shows that are based on high-stress and thereby getting stressed myself, and that led to binge TV watching! Thank goodness, it only took me a few days to get out of the grips of the adrenaline carving, binge indulging cycle! Because guess what? The more I sat on the couch, the more I mindlessly snacked! Oops!
Happily, I have a lot of resources to access when I find myself going in a direction that isn’t productive. I was able to use the techniques from Brain Tek’s program and also, to re-activate my heart’s coherence and make better choices about my time and energy.
If you find yourself struggling with stress-related cravings or bingeing, either one of these programs can help and neither one of them involves dieting or restricting food:
Brain Tek’s Behavioral Relationship Entrainment (BRE) program is a 4 to 6 week program where individualized sound protocols are used to re-wire your neural pathways so that you can get back in control of your decisions. The key thing that happens is that under prolonged stress, your frontal cortex- your brain’s executive command center, is hijacked by your limbic system or the emotional brain. It’s nearly impossible to make consistent and good decisions when you’re experiencing this brain hijack process.
During the BRE program, you also learn a quick and effective technique to activate your frontal cortex and get back on track, anytime, anywhere. This is exactly what I did when I had the moment of awareness that I had been binge-watching cooking shows. During the BRE program, you learn to give yourself a very simple cue. In my case, I touch my forehead (or smack it if needed!) –and that gets my decision-maker back on track!
Combined with sound therapies that re-wire the brain for optimal functioning, it’s very easy to keep up your progress. Brain Tek also has a great standard stress sound protocol that you can purchase for $9.99 and own forever! It’s called “Stress Relief” and it specifically targets the stress centers of your brain so you can calm down and relax.
With the 4 week Stop Emotional Eating Program, you learn 3 quick and easy self-regulation techniques that use the innate power in your heart to make better choices. It’s a different approach but just as effective if you keep up the techniques.
These HeartMath techniques are Notice and Ease, the Power of Neutral and Quick Coherence. The first two, Notice and Ease and the Power of Neutral, are helpful to stop cravings as soon as you become aware of them. Quick Coherence is the main technique we use to change the pattern of stress eating and to sustain commitments you make to having a healthier lifestyle.
Both programs are very robust and include individual coaching with me. They are tailored to your needs and your specific goals. And as I stated above, neither one of them focuses on dieting, restrictions or calorie counting!
The good news is that when you are stressed, you don’t have to find yourself reaching for more desserts or treats. You can activate either the brain or the heart’s power to learn new skills for managing life’s every day stressors before they get overwhelming or out of control.
It truly is one of life’s greatest pleasures to enjoy a great dessert every once in a while! For me, the more conscious I am of making a good choice, the better the dessert tastes!
For information about either the BRE or Stop Emotional Eating Programs, please email me at email@example.com
Untangling the energy of love from the fear of control
(webinar info below- February 11, 2015 at 6 pm Mountain)by Ronna Prince, HeartMath & Radical Forgiveness Coach, Brain Tek Practitioner and Filmmaker, Sacred Journey of the Heart
Have you ever found yourself in a tense situation with a loved one, family or friend that was frustrating or annoying? Did you feel like whatever you said was misinterpreted, ignored or rebuffed? Or has a loved one suggested something to you that set you on edge, leaving you feeling criticized or attacked.
This happened to me a while ago, when my loved one suggested I do something different to improve my sleep patterns. It was a simple suggestion but I found myself feeling annoyed, criticized and rejected. I even had a few imaginary conversations with him to practice what I was going to say -you know, “give him a piece of my mind!” Then Whoa! I had an aha moment… I realized that he was suggesting this to me because he loves me, not because he was trying to control me. (Any by the way, when you want to give someone a “piece of your mind”, it is invariably connected to shutting off a chunk of your heart!)
The reality is that a person who loves us is always “involved” with us on many levels…. and being invOLVEd contains the letters “IN LOVE”! So how did I confuse his loving involvement with control? And even more importantly, how could I EVOLve my consciousness of this issue without LOVE? Well, the answer is, I couldn’t. It was time to make a different, clear-hearted choice.
A KEY to making the choice to give and receive from a clear heart is learning to untangle the emotion and expression love from a deeply seated fear of being controlled by a loved one. The truth is that love and fear cannot reside in the same space- so in my view, this is the most important relationship issue to heal.
Here are some signs of an entanglement with love and fear of control:
- Petty arguments that repeat over and over and are not resolved with love
- Getting annoyed when you are asked to do something small for a loved one (such as “Will you please pick up my dry cleaning on the way home?” or “Would you mind mailing this letter for me?”)
- Putting off or avoiding physical intimacy, including no longer holding hands or giving neck and back rubs or neglecting to just touching your loved one in passing
- Not listening with your full attention when your loved one is talking to you
- Feeling resentment when your loved one makes suggestions about something you could do differently or better
- Saying nasty little things in your head about your loved one
- Faking your actions or reactions in any way at all.
The question is: Why do we do this? Just looking at the list, it seems obvious that these are relationship busters and petty behaviors that we should have grown out of when we grew up!
But the problem is, many of us never really grew up understanding that love does not mean control! We experienced a lot of things our parents did to us or for us, as controlling us. For the most part, this is a healthy part of growing up with parents who had reasonable rules and good personal boundaries. But if there were some unhealthy connections between love and control, we most likely have carried these into our significant relationships. Over time, our behaviors will crop up in insidious ways to undermine the foundation of our primary love relationships as adults.
So what is the solution? It is learning to untangle the reality of love from a fear of being controlled by a loved one.
Here are a few suggestions to begin the process of “untanglement” – this leads to what I call “A Clear Heart”. Because if your heart is cluttered with fear of being controlled by someone who is simply trying to love you, you are pushing away the very thing that can heal you. (And by the way, I love the topic of quantum entanglement in relationship! The idea is that at all times, we are with exactly the right person to mirror a greater whole that consists of two parts coming together in a “spooky dance”!)
I have defined 3 categories that are all involved in the process of letting go of entanglement and 4 ways to change the resulting patterns:
Cognitive: these are a series of questions to ask yourself from a Clear Heart space. I will share some examples below. This “Clear Heart” practice involves using your thoughts and emotions, largely based on things that you already know. This process can begin the journey of relationship healing.. but it only gets you so far because most of the entanglement occurs at a subconscious, unconscious AND physiological levels. Emotional love-control entanglement is deeply rooted in learned behaviors and belief systems imposed on you before you were able to make your own decisions. So the next two categories are where the real transformation happens.
Spiritual: In order to untangle love and control issues at a deeper level, I believe that engaging in a spiritual practice is very important. If you realize that you have been impacted by unhealthy beliefs around love and control, spiritual practices such as meditation and prayer are essential to evolve beyond the little self or the ego. I also practice the 5 steps of Radical Forgiveness and live a RF-based lifestyle. Radical Forgiveness is a powerful system developed by Colin Tipping that “busts” your victim stories and provides you with a step-by-step process of empowerment. (see link below for a recorded webinar during which I discuss how RF works.)
Physiological: I use two more powerful modalities that address the two places that our emotions and thoughts about things get entangled: our heart and our brain. Without learning how to consciously manage these two important organs, we get limited results with cognitive and spiritual practices. These two modalities are HeartMath tools and techniques and Brain Tek’s Behavioral Relationship Entrainment Program. (Both of these are discussed in detail in earlier blog posts.) The good news is that both of these practices are effective, easy and convenient to learn and to use on a regular basis in the privacy of your own home. With the HeartMath practices, you learn how to harness the physiological power of your heart to decrease stress, increase a genuine connection with yourself and others and develop creative heart-based solutions to any situation.
But for me, the real “missing link” has been in the physiological neural wiring in the brain. If your brain is wired through repetition and conditioning to interpret events as dangerous, controlling or fearful, no amount of cognitive processing, spiritual practice or heart coherence activity can over-ride a deep-brain based pattern. What Brain Tek’s program does, is to free up stuck neural patterns and create more effective neural connections so that you CAN consistently and effectively put all the other techniques in to practice.
If you are interested in learning about exactly how this works and hearing about the real results I have experienced with myself and my clients, watch this webinar presentation I offered last month.
I am offering a 20% discount on the 6 week BRE program for the first 3 people who sign up for the program. It is easy, effective, lasting and life-changing! Contact me at: firstname.lastname@example.org
The Clear Heart Practice: Questions to Untangle love from fear
Before entering into the clear heart practice, I do a short meditation and an innovative heart-connection that I’ve developed over the years. I will be sharing this specific technique in a free webinar in February (See below for details).
Sample questions in the Clear Heart Practice:
- Am I open to receiving love or am I blocking love out of fear?
- Is my loved one really trying to control me or is he/she simply loving me and trying to help?
- What am I afraid will happen if I do what is being asked of me?
- Do I need to be right more than I desire to be loved? – a popularized phrase but very powerful in the context of the Clear Heart practice.
- What is stopping me from reaching out to my loved one?
- Am I willing to let go of fear of rejection and put this into application?
- Am I willing to own my projections and love the part of myself that is afraid of not being worthy of love? (a Key Radical Forgiveness principal).
These questions are just one way to begin to untangle old patterns and open to love from the clear heart. Join me in learning more about the integration of these practices!
Title: Creating from a Clear Heart
Date & Time: Wednesday, February 11th at 6:00pm Mountain
Attend by Phone: (audio only)
Guest pin code: 339751#
Primary dial in number: (425) 440-5100
Secondary dial in number: (619) 471-1669
Full list of dial in Numbers:
Event Page: (Audio with Power Point slides!)
Happy Heart Month!
Are you ready for the holidays or are you like me, doing last minute shopping and meal planning? In the midst of last minute activities, it seems like I’m bombarded by “last chance” emails, ads and signs everywhere I look. Today, I’m pondering “last chances” – of which there really are very few in life, and “second chances” – what we gift to ourselves and others when make new choices.
When you think about it for a minute, there are truly very few things in life that are last chances…. But if we end up missing a last chance at something important, it can be really hard to let go of feelings of regret and move on… and in looking back, we can easily end up missing second chances that are right there in front of us now. In this article, I’ll share with you 3 ways to shift out of last chanc-ing.
The problem with last chance thinking and acting is twofold and it runs on a very powerful emotion-based program.
Here is the problem with last-chances: 1) they prey on our tendency toward impulsivity, bypassing the higher-brain processes of reason and logic and, 2) they pull at our heart-strings, typically in ways that deplete our energy… as in “I should do x, y, or z, or else….”
This is because “last chances” are tied into old wired-in emotional patterns of fear and regret. Fear and regret are very powerful because they keep us looking backward at the past and/or lock us into anxiety about the future never presenting us with an opportunity again.
When we dissect it this way, it’s easy to see how dysfunctional last chance thinking and acting really is!
Here is a personal example I just experienced. My younger brother, John, today is happy, well-adjusted, employed and in a committed relationship. Five years ago, he was homeless, alone and literally wandering in the desert in Arizona. I didn’t know if he was alive or dead. He had been missing for about 3 years. The last time I saw him was in 2007 when I left him at a rehab center for indigent people. He had spiraled into alcoholism after our mom died in 2002 and his wife left him. He had run out of “one last chances” with me as I had learned how to stop enabling his addiction.
A few years later in 2010, I was playing the Radical Forgiveness game called “Satori” that is featured in my film, Sacred Journey of the Heart. Satori is a board game created by Colin Tipping, that takes the players through all 5 steps of Radical Forgiveness that I depict in the film. Playing the game results in reframing issues to a new perspective that literally shifts reality in small and sometimes huge ways.
Each player “randomly” selects an issue from a stack of cards and plays the game around that particular issue. The card I picked for the game that day in 2010 was “Alcohol and Drugs have affected your life” and the context was Family. So obviously, I was being led to dive deep into Radical Forgiveness about my brother John’s alcoholism. It was one of the toughest games of Satori I ever played. Through the process, I was able to look at how I still blamed myself for not doing enough for him, not just through his addiction, but when we were growing up and I was trying to fill in for an absent dad and a stressed out mom who had gone to back to school to get her master’s degree after her divorce. I was able to shift into a new perspective about the events around his addiction and see what the experience did “for” me vs “to” me. It helped me untangle my lack of self-forgiveness and enter into deep forgiveness for my brother and through him, for myself.
Literally 10 days after I played the Satori game in August 2010, my brother was found in the desert, brought back to our hometown in the Midwest and entered into a very strict rehab program. All he had to his name was a change of clothes. He didn’t even have an ID card. Less than 10% of the people entering the rehab program complete it. My brother was one of the successful graduates.
Today, he is sober, he has rebuilt his life, he has a good job and he is living in a committed and happy relationship. It is a miracle that was built on radical forgiveness, his hard work, the support of many people and the second chance he received to start again.
The other day he called to ask me for a recipe of one of our mom’s favorite holiday breakfast casseroles. I told him it was in the 3-ring binder book that my mom gave to each one of us before she died. The book contained her favorite recipes, favorite poems and the original artwork and poetry she created as she was dying from brain cancer. It was a gift we all cherished because it contained so many fond memories and her expressions of love which came through her cooking, poetry and art.
John reminded me that he had lost the book of our mom’s precious gift. I said to myself, “Ah! That’s right! He had literally lost every single thing he owned from his past.”
Of course, I emailed him the recipe right away but in that moment, I knew what to give my brother this Christmas. One by one, I copied each page from the 3 ring binder book from our mother. The recipes are in black and white, the artwork and poetry are in color – about 250 pieces of paper and several hours of my time were spent in gratitude that my mom left us such an amazing gift. And in deep gratitude that my brother had not at all “lost” this part of his past: the legacy of love from our mom that I could give back to him.
I believe that there are always second chances for love. Radical Forgiveness opened my heart in 2010 and I got my brother back. And my brother is getting the gift from our mother back!
I’ve continued my exploration of emotions and the brain, the heart and the mind since 2010. I’ve discovered that doing the HeartMath program, Voyage to Heart Intelligence, activates the power of our hearts and creates many second chances for love and great moment-to-moment connections with the present moment.
And my latest discovery, Brain Tek’s brain wave entrainment program, caps it all off by unwiring stuck pathways in the brain that tend to resurface during stressful times. Brain Tek’s personalized sound therapies literally create new pathways in the brain that end worry, rumination, anxiety and procrastination.
I will be comparing all three programs next Monday, December 29th 2014 at 5 pm Mountain time. My primary focus will be Brain Tek – if you’ve missed my other free webinars, here’s your second chance to learn how to permanently change old patterns and give yourself the gift of living in the present!
For information on how to join the free webinar email: email@example.com
Permanent PeaceSee info at the end of this post for a free webinar, Thursday, December 4 at 6 pm Mountain Daylight Time
Do gratitude and peace go hand-in-hand or is it possible to experience one without the other?
This is the question I’m pondering as I get ready to prepare the Thanksgiving feast I will have with friends and family tomorrow.
My personal answer is that I believe we can feel and express gratitude and NOT feel peaceful inside – but by contrast, we CANNOT feel peaceful without feeling grateful at the same time. Make sense?
It should if you think about it. Here’s an example:
It’s easy to feel grateful for the things that we have in the moment – family, relationships, health, jobs, shelter, food, clean water and transportation to get to get to where we need to go. At the same time, it’s common for people to feel anxious about the future and losing any one of these things. In other words, it’s common to feel grateful for the present and to worry about the future. It’s also common to feel grateful about the present and to feel depressed about the past. When we live this way, gratitude can quickly wash away with the next wave to hit the shore.
BUT if you are truly at peace, deep peace, you are not sad about the past or worried about the future. In the present moment, the only moment we have, the backdrop of our experience is a feeling of gratitude for everything that has happened, and a knowingness that whatever the future brings, we can still choose to come from this inner place of peace.
In my film Sacred Journey of the Heart, I actually described this state of being grateful for the past and everything that happened to me, including a childhood of abuse. And I courageously ended the film saying that “my heart will lead the way”, to whatever the future had in store for me. But I really wasn’t at peace- not yet – because my brain actually did not know how to function this way!
Literally, my brain was hard-wired for hyper-vigilance, a state of being on guard for impending threats. My nervous system was locked in to a low grade anxiety that could spike to intense anxiety at a moment’s notice. My limbic system, the emotional part of our brain, was programmed for sadness that sometime tipped into low-grade depression. And a deep brain structure, called the cingulate gyrus, that is actually shaped like a loop, kept me wired into a pattern of rumination and worry about “what if….” And worst case scenarios – all so I could be prepared in case of danger.
As you undoubtedly know, this is in no way, connected to a state of inner peace. I was grateful, but I was not at peace.
If this sounds familiar, I can also tell you that there is a way out of this, and it is easy, relatively quick and it is lasting. The result is that state of being that I call Permanent Peace.
The problem is, you can’t get to Permanent Peace unless you can get at the underlying pattern that the brain defaults to in times of uncertainty and stress. For me, this is the Missing Link. It’s what I discovered in my 4 week Behavioral Relationship Entrainment program offered by Brain Tek, a cutting edge research group in California. I’m now certified to offer this to my clients which I’ve been doing for a few months with great results all the way around. Here is a typical comment after a client has been through the “un-wiring – re-wiring” brain/behavioral program:
“The Brain Tek program has been one of the most positive things I’ve done for myself. I am happier, more patient and less anxious. I’m more organized, and motivated and get more done in a day than I did in a week. I can’t thank Ronna enough for introducing me to Braintek.”
Katie J. LCSW
What is Permanent Peace?
I believe it’s an inner state grounded upon understanding, acceptance, and trust. For me personally, there is also a very prominent spiritual component to this that I practice in daily prayer and meditation. I am now able to consistently be in this deep inner place of peace, because my deep brain structures that reacted to past experiences are freed up. My higher cortical reasoning function, i.e. the frontal cortex of my brain, can now choose to be at peace, rather than run my response based on past patterns.
Permanent Peace includes:
- Freedom from anxiety, worry and rumination
- Alleviation of depression
- Elimination of fear (which I call “Familiar Energy Arising Repetitively”)
- Ability to enjoy the moment
- Staying focused on one’s core values and ethics
- Contributing to the betterment of other’s lives
- Equanimity in the face of the unknown
- Feeling connected to everyone and everything without identifying with it
In this state, gratitude is natural, it flows and it becomes the foundation for everyday life, not just a special day, a time of prayer or a response to something good happening. This is permanent peace, and it does surpass understanding. I do believe it is possible and I have experienced it in my life and seen it in the lives of others who dive in to the cause of anxiety, fear and depression – unwiring the deep brain structures so that our personal practices can direct the flow of our lives.
If you are interested in learning more, please join me on Thursday, December 4, 2014 at 6 pm Mountain time for more information about Brain Tek and the program that rewires your brain for Permanent Peace.
Title: BRE Program Presentation
Time: Thursday, December 4th at 6:00pm Mountain
Listening method: Phone + Web Simulcast
To attend, visit:
Phone Number: (425) 440-5100
Pin Code: 339751#
Happy Thanksgiving and many blessings,
A quick “go-to” strategy and a longer term, permanent “fix”
Have you ever prepared to confront someone who has said or done something that you need to address? If you reflect on a conflict-confrontation, you might recall how much time you spent thinking and rehearsing what you would say and you can probably remember the feelings you had around the event, including physiological sensations: nervousness, anxiety, sweaty palms, pounding heart, shortness of breath and queasy stomach. The physical signs are all related to the adrenal fight-flight response and it literally wears the body down with stress related hormones like cortisol.
Because of the intensity of the feelings, many of us have learned how to avoid most conflicts. Our “go-to” strategy is to just let IT go, to say “it’s ALL good”, and move on. This works sometimes because not all conflict is worth confronting.
But on big issues, there’s a cost to this caving in and not standing up for ourselves. And the cost encompasses many things: lower self-esteem, living in compromise, and sometimes loss of money.
Having experienced this myself and come out the other side, I know this is one of the most important life skills to master and to be at ease when dealing with conflict and standing up for myself!
Is there a quick fix for this? In my experience, yes and no. I have made a lot of progress in handling conflict over the years by utilizing cognitive and spiritual programs and techniques. I’ve done things like learn to tell myself to “stop”, take a breath and choose to let it go or to speak up. I’ve practiced the Sedona Method, an innovative system in which you ask yourself a series of questions. When an unwanted feeling comes up, you can release it using this method. This comes in handy when dealing with fear and anxiety over conflict. I’ve also tried other techniques such as EMDR, EFT, Psych-K and a whole alphabet soup list of things.
I’ve even become certified in and teach the very powerful and effective techniques of HeartMath and Radical Forgiveness. Like the others I’ve mentioned, these techniques work if you work with them.
I repeat: They all work. Yes, they do! But for me at least, they only worked temporarily and most of the time, it felt like pushing the same boulder up the same mountain. A lot of effort that resulted in me feeling tired, and then “letting it go”, eventually caving in.
So, bottom line and long term, at least from my perspective, the true answer was “no”, there was no quick fix or lasting solution for dealing with conflict.
That is until this year, 2014, when I learned that my conflict-avoidance, cave-in behavior was hard wired into my brain’s neuro-pathways. Now I can say that there IS a fix, and it’s relatively quick and it’s permanent!
My conclusion, based on experience, is that the missing link is the hard-wiring in a structure deep in the brain that contributes to resurfacing of old patterns. Cognitive and spiritual programs do not directly address the physiology of our brain. So what occurs is that while we can think our way through conflict, meditate, pray and spiritually understand what’s occurring, the underlying physiological wiring is still deeply embedded in the brain. Eventually we revert to this. This is why so many of us have tried multiple things that eventually give up on and may even find ourselves saying “nothing works”! You CAN unplug from this pattern!
Here is brain-based solution that you can test drive and begin to unwire old stress-based patterns in the privacy of your own home. It’s called Brain Tek Mobile Solutions and is an easy way to begin to release the brain-based stress response.
I recommend listening to the Stress Relief Mobile Sound Therapy to calm your brain and then make better decision about dealing with conflict.
A more personalized approach is to explore the Behavioral Relationship Entrainment program that I offer through Brain Tek Institute. This has proven to be the missing link to easy and effective change that I have been searching for. It is proving to be the same thing for my clients that have gone through the program with me.
Last month I presented the BRE program in a webinar with Dr. Dennis Manness, it’s founder. BRE is an innovative and very unique sound-based protocol that literally re-boots your brain by rewiring neural pathways to more efficient and optimal thought-behavior patterns.
If you are interested in learning more, email me or stay tuned for the next free webinar on this topic in early December. The Brain Tek program is very different from brain-wave entrainment programs that you may have heard about. This new program that I’m certified to administer is individually tailored to create new neural pathways in your brain in 4 to 6 weeks, all in the comfort of your own home, as you listen to signals embedded in music that are tailored to address your particular issues. It’s the easiest and most effective process I have discovered or myself and am now sharing with my family, friends and clients. And, unlike any other program I’ve tried or taught, it exceeds expectations with the positive results!
Less than 4 weeks to Optimism, Peace and Contentment
At the end of this article is information about a free teleconference on October 7, 2014 at 6 pm Pacific Time to learn more about this topic.
Excerpt from Sacred Journey of the Heart, Chapter 3. Tracy Roman, former attorney-turned- activist” for social change: “I know what my day’s going to look like tomorrow, and the next day and the next. Am I happy? And when the honest answer was no, then what am I fearing by making a change?”
Have you ever been so stressed out about a situation that that everything you’ve ever learned in managing day-to-day life went out the window? Or have you ever found yourself worrying and ruminating, creating more stress and anxiety for yourself and not know how to stop the “mind chatter” cycle?
That’s exactly what happened to me this past Spring and since then, I’ve found what I’m personally calling the “Holy Grail” of inner peace and optimism.
I have been on the search for the “Holy Grail” for years, trying one thing after another. A new process would work for a time but then old thoughts and behaviors would creep back in. At some “basic level”, I was a life-long pessimist, ruminator, worry-wart and anxiety-addict. Talk about frustration! Even after producing a full-length film and learning about heart-based living from some of the best experts on the planet, I kept default-programming into my old patterns.
So back in late May, I found myself in the middle of a very stressful situation that triggered every one of my old programs about struggle, self-worth and powerlessness. The details are not important other than to share with you that everything I learned, teach and share went out the window for me. Nothing worked. Not Radical Forgiveness, not Heart-based Coherence, not tapping (EFT), not Psych-K or any other cognitive-spiritual based modalities that had proven effective in the past.
I was discussing my frustration with one of my colleagues and she suggested that I try a new brain-based technology. I was in the throes of pessimism and the first thing out of my mouth was “I’ve already done it –and it didn’t work!” AKA, “been-there-done-that syndrome.” Next, I told her I was tired of trying new things and had come to the conclusion that I had to give up the fight and keep up my outer façade of “It’s All Good”. After all, if I just kept on “acting as if….”, maybe someday I would wake up a changed and better, sunnier person. Maybe just like Gweneth Paltrow, the latest icon of:
My colleague patiently explained to me that the program she was referring to is different than the brainwave entrainment therapies that everyone is talking about. The program she shared with me is based on individualized treatment of a person’s neurological brain lobe-specific wiring. The protocol looks at behaviors (not brain waves) and traces them back to the hard-wired brain lobe that runs the program. The therapy literally re-routes the neural pathways so that permanent behavioral change can take place. After hesitating for a few days, I had the insight that it was time to invest in myself, rather than to invest in my default position of pessimism and doubt.
It was one of the best decisions I have ever made. In a matter of a few weeks, I had an entirely new outlook on life, my old default patterns were wiped out and I was sleeping through the night. And even better, I had week by week scientifically verified progress reports on exactly what was happening in my brain!
I found out that 3 lobes of my brain were the “Default Directors” that took over the show when I became stressed. These 3 areas of the brain are: the basal ganglia, the cingulate gyrus and the limbic system. These are parts of the brain that deal with repetitive thought patterns, regulating emotion, memory formation and storage, pain processing and habit formation. What happened under stress, was my frontal cortex, the higher thinking process and executive decision maker, went off-line. And the wired in programming took over.
I finally understood why the other processes I had learned worked only up to a certain point. Cognitive and spiritual practices alone, were not effective in over-riding my brain-based wired-in patterns that were memorized over a lifetime of repetition. I am convinced that this is why so many people end up feeling WORSE after engaging in a “positive thinking” program, or a Spiritual healing practice that is supposed to work wonders. Yes, these things work, but only so far and more often than not, they go out the window when faced with a major life issue.
I am excited to share with you that I am now a certified Practitioner of Brain Tek Institute’s Behavioral Entrainment Program (BRE). I am able to provide this program to anyone in the world with high-speed internet access and stereo headphones. In 4 to 6 weeks, we will be able to re-wire your neural pathways using proprietary signals that effortlessly change your brain back to optimal functioning. This is NOT brainwave entrainment. It is very different.
I started offering this to my clients a few months ago and it has been nothing short of phenomenal to witness their results, week-by-week, as they have become free of anxiety, depression, worry, brain fog, memory issues and many physical symptoms like chronic pain, headaches and insomnia. Every single person is leaping for joy and experiencing significant progress that is verifiable.
My own progress continues to hold steady. The major stressor that sent me down this path is still going on, but I choose when to think about it and I no longer worry about worst-case-scenario. In other words, I have a renewed sense of enjoyment in life and for the first time, my optimistic outlook on life is permanent, not just a fleeting state based on outside circumstances.
I’m still a big fan of the heart, don’t get me wrong! I still use HeartMath’s Inner Balance® and emWave2® and I whole-heartedly believe and know that the electro-magnetic field of the heart is by far the strongest one in the body. I know the heart connects us all and sends signals into the field around us that can be measured and felt by others. But if the brain is mis-wired, the heart-field is clouded with the emotional baggage we are unconsciously broadcasting every moment. And that’s what draws to us, the undesirable situations that create stress – in frustrating loop that results in being stuck on a fence. There is a way out and it is easy and fast.
If you would like to learn more, please join me on a free teleconference on October 7, 2014 at 6 pm Pacific Time. You must register to attend. Once you register, you will receive a confirmation email with a dial-in number and PIN. I will be raffling two sound protocols: one at the beginning of the call and one at the end. You must be present during the call to win a prize! Email for registration: Ronna@sacredjourneyoftheheart.com
If you are like me and don’t want to wait, please email me and I will send you all the information about BRE right away.
Here’s my new closing:
Heart-felt and Brain-Balanced Gratitude!
5 Heart Warming C’s: Curiosity, Circulation, Correlation, Coherence, Commitment
“It’s time to lift the spirit of depression of each one around us….to melt the ice in the heart of humanity”.
This is one of my favorite lines in Sacred Journey of the Heart film, spoken by Angaangaq Angakkorsuaq, nicknamed “Uncle”, a Greenland Eskimo-Kalaallit Elder and shaman. Uncle is a passionate advocate for indigenous and environmental issues that impact us all. At the heart of it all, according to Uncle, is a world-wide disconnect from our hearts and heart of earth itself. I concur.
As I’ve learned from the Institute of HeartMath, our heart is the key organ that regulates the synchronization of the body as a whole. If you haven’t seen the film, you will enjoy the evidence presented by Dr. Rollin McCraty, HeartMath’s lead scientist and Gregg Braden, NYT best-selling author and researcher that transforms our understanding about the power of the heart. They also provide astounding evidence that there IS a collective heart, and an undeniable connection between the human heart and the earth.
Graphic from Sacred Journey of the Heart© Read the rest of this entry
3 techniques that work quickly and easily!
As I revealed in the film, Sacred Journey of the Heart, like so many others, I experienced child abuse growing up. It colored every aspect of my life as an adult, from friendships, to intimate relationships, to jobs and to parenting. I was always on the lookout, waiting for the next bad thing to happen so I could be prepared. Talk about a waste of energy! Not to mention the present moments I missed by being on the defensive.
However, I am dedicated to the path of healing and I have tried more healing modalities that I can name. But it was in the making of the film itself, that deep and lasting freedom began to emerge for me. As I know it can for you too. And the good news is that it isn’t as hard as you might think!
The rest of this article is for you if you’ve ever had thoughts of:
- “I’m not good enough.”
- “What I want or say doesn’t really matter to others.”
- “I’m stuck.” or
- “No matter how hard I try, things just don’t change.”
Isn’t it time to be free of those self-limiting beliefs? Aren’t YOU worth the investment in 30 minutes a day to free yourself of these patterns?
My personal journey:
Like many people, things looked good on the outside – family, job, all the material things we accumulate to give us comfort, but on the inside, I felt like a fake. I just hoped no one noticed that I was afraid of being found out, and that I felt unworthy to be making a film about the heart’s journey when my heart still periodically was wrenched with pain, guilt and self-doubt. You know what they say: “You teach what you most need to learn.”
I was in the process of truly learning to liberate my heart and it took me to the place of deepest healing: the healing of false and self-limiting beliefs.
The Three Techniques:
Like Dr. Rocco Errico says in the film: “Healing the heart is like a diet, no one size fits all.”
So I’ll share with you 3 techniques, all which are aimed at deep heart healing and lead to true freedom from the past.
If you’ve seen the film, you know that the first turning point for me was Radical Forgiveness, a 5 step process developed by Colin Tipping. These 5 steps in a nutshell are: telling your story (Briefly), feeling your feelings, collapsing the story (separating the facts from the fiction you made up around it), reframing the story (shifting out of the victim mode) and then integrating your new story. You can see these 5 steps in action in Chapter 2 of the film, “How We Heal”. This is an amazing and quick process. I offer my coaching clients a 3 session RF package that creates lasting change.
The second technique I learned in making the film was the Freeze Frame technique created by the Institute of HeartMath. This is another 5 step process where you learn to bring in the power of your heart’s intuition to quickly get to the “heart of the matter”, and integrate a more efficient attitude, action or solution to the issue you are facing. I teach this in the 4 week “Voyage to Heart Intelligence” program, a proprietary program that can only be taught by licensed HeartMath Coaches.
The third and latest technique I’ve learned is how to get at the very cellular level of limiting beliefs that are carried inside each cell and that create a dissonant vibration that effects our health, feelings and sense of well-being. This is a technique created by Dr. Alex Loyd. I will be featuring my interview of him and a very special offer for you to be introduced to his teachings in the next newsletter.
For those of you who don’t want to wait, email me and I will send you a special access code to my interview and offer. With this approach I feel that the healing is coming full circle, all the way to the cellular level of heart-pictures that were formed before I even knew what was happening. It’s been another journey of deep liberation and completes the healing cycle, giving rise to True Independence from the past hurts. It creates a new sense of freedom to determine exactly how I will respond in any situation, how I choose to react when things happen and how I have become even more liberated from external circumstance as a dependent factor in my own inner peace.
Happy Freedom Day!