A lot of people talk about synchronicity as something that just happens. Something surprising occurs out of the blue and we attribute it to a “coincidence of time”. The dictionary.com definition of synchronous is:
occurring at the same time; coinciding in time; contemporaneous; simultaneous.
Hence, our tendency is to accept events that surprise us in positive ways as coincidental. Over the years of exploring consciousness, I have come to conclude that there is very little coincidence, chance or luck involved in synchronous events. And even more so, I have the experience of being able to create synchronicities by thinking, feeling, sensing and acting in a specific way so as to consciously create them!
This activity is what people call “the secret art of manifestation”. For me, there’s nothing secret about it. It is simply a process of knowing a few keys and the incorporating every day by practicing!
This goes way, way beyond the Law of Attraction that was brought to most of us by “The Secret”, a groundbreaking film that came out in 2006. It’s been 10 years since the film’s DVD release and my question is this: Why are people still having so many issues with creating the life that they want if the “secret” is out?
In my view, the difficulty exists because we are still trying to think the “right thoughts” with our head. And we are still trying to solve our problems within the same construct that created them in the first place.
The true path to creating synchronicities consists of two simple steps. I’ll share step one with you here and invite you to join me in my free online webinar on Thursday August 11 at 5 pm Pacific time to learn how to incorporate both parts of synchronistic manifesting. (webinar info below)
Step one is all about learning how to incorporate your heart’s intuition into your thinking process so that your heart is broadcasting a specific, measurable vibration. (More about this in the webinar.) When you do this, you will start to know what it feels like to live in an open hearted way.
The secret then, is learning the difference between a closed heart and an open heart, and choosing to create from the latter. As we do this, we align with more empowering thoughts. We have a heightened ability to sense the world around us, even on a non-local scale, and to then tap into opportunities that we would not have noticed if our hearts were shut down.
So what does an open heart feel like?
Simple. When your heart is open:
- You feel a sense of connection to yourself and everything around you.
- You are happy to be alive
- You trust the process
- You feel free to explore new things
- You find yourself saying, “I can do it!”
- You stay aware of the possibilities around you
- You listen to your intuition and follow it.
As opposed to this, when your heart is closed, you feel the need to be on guard, you mistrust things and people, you find yourself saying “I can’t because”. In this state, possibilities that are right there can’t make it through because you won’t see them.
In the open-hearted state, you will find yourself being amazed over and over again at things that appear to “just happen”. But they didn’t! Because your heart is open, you created the groundwork, the pathway and the possibility for synchronicity!
Here’s one of my recent examples;
I decided to say no to a distribution deal on my film, Sacred Journey of the Heart, because the contract conditions were just too onerous for me to fulfill. I found myself feeling down for a few days and wondering if I had just rejected the only offer I would ever get to stream my film on a worldwide platform. I caught myself shutting down my heart in self-doubt, criticism and “I can’t do it…”
And that’s the key, I caught myself. In the space of one breath, I opened my heart (step 1) and moved the energy of “I can’t” and all associated feelings (step 2) out of my heart…. And then, effortlessly, I aligned myself with a new possibility rather than seeing this as the end of the road.
The very next day, I received an email to submit my film to GaiaTV, now “Gaia”, and literally sailed through the process of getting the film onto their platform. I’m happy to say that the film debuted on 7-7-2016 and can now be streamed anywhere in the world with an internet connection! Click here to go to Gaia and sign up to see the film. And it’s captioned for ease of understanding.
In one way I was amazed and surprised, and yet, in another, I saw this as a confirmation that I did my part in creating this synchronicity by choosing to follow my simple process.
If you are a seeker of simpler, more effective and enjoyable ways of living in the world, I invite you to join me in exploring this process in depth. You must obtain the password for the event to attend – email me at email@example.com
Title: Creating Synchronicities
Date & Time: Thursday, August 11th at 5:00 PM Pacific
Attend by Phone:
Guest pin code: 339751#
Primary dial in number: (425) 440-5100
Secondary dial in number: (619) 471-1669
Full list of dial in Numbers:
YOU must email me for the password to this free event: Why? Because it helps me know who is interested in my work – aka, reciprocity! firstname.lastname@example.org
All –New Heart-Healing plus Quantum physics discovery combine to create an effective and powerful manifesting technique!On Saturday, December 5th at 10 am Central Daylight time, I will be presenting a two-hour webinar on the Triple Heart Healing Technique. (Click here or see below for details)
Have you ever made a discovery about how life operates at its most basic level that it nearly knocked your socks off? And created a big rush of tingling all over which feels like a physiological confirmation about fundamental truth?
I believe that I made this type of discovery in preparing for my recent webinar on Manifesting with the 12 Universal Laws of Consciousness. The awareness I had resulted in synthesizing a powerful, effective method for mastering our own life circumstances.
I’m calling my new method The Triple Heart Healing Technique (THHT) and it involves learning about the physiological presence and function of our two “hidden hearts”.
Once you know about this, you can then learn how to easily move stuck emotions through the mind-heart-body and thereby creating a new signal that gets broadcast into the field around you. When you do this, you then have the capacity to consciously interact at the quantum level with the Law of Assumption – the 12th of 12 Universal Laws. The Law of Assumption is the highest manifesting law and in mastering this, many new possibilities expand into reality!
The Origin of THHT:
I actually created the technique in 2008 but didn’t start using it until late 2014 because I didn’t realize the power of what this process unleashes! At first, I thought it was another nice meditation that resulted in inner calm and balance. But when I started using it with consistency and a higher level of understanding of the Laws, I began to notice that things were changing very, very quickly!
In fact, so quickly that I actually went through the 5 stages of “reality altering emotional process”! I borrow this from the Kubler-Ross 5 stage grief model. When our reality or paradigm shifts suddenly, whether it’s caused by an unexpected diagnosis or any other sudden shift of our reality, we will go through these stages.
In the Kubler-Ross model for grief, the stages are:
—-denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance
In my adapted model for the 5 stages of “positive paradigm shift”, the stages are similar at the beginning and end, but different in the middle:
—-denial, excitement, verifying, doubt and acceptance
Here’s how the process went for me and many of my clients when we combined the THHT with our awareness of the highest Universal Laws:
Denial: “The result I just experienced is related to something else” ; “This is just a coincidence”; “It can’t be this easy” (red alert: this statement can kill change before it has a chance to sink in!);
Excitement: “Wow! This really works” “I’m going to share this with everyone!” “Why didn’t anyone tell me this before?” “I can’t believe it!” (stay on the lookout for this statement because it is very negating unless you catch it quickly!)
Verifying: “I’m going to test this out on everything”; “This is working!”; “I’m going to see if my friends experience the same thing”
Doubt: This sets in when some things you are working on take a little longer (an effect that I explain in relation to the 7th Universal Law, the Law of Attraction – i.e. Why it takes longer to manifest a new love interest than a parking space!) “This isn’t working anymore!”; “This is just like everything else I’ve tried – it works for awhile and then stops”; “I don’t have time to keep this up.”
Acceptance: If you continue to use the technique and experience results and transformation, the 5th stage sets in: “I am a powerful manifestor!”; “I am so happy to be in the driver’s seat of my life now!” “I am empowered!”
The sooner we recognize this 5-stage process and have a technique to help us, the easier and faster it is to navigate. Before my discovery, I would NOT have used the word “faster” because I had an experienced-based belief that transformation takes time – a long time. I believed that true and deep transformation is related to many factors, internal and external. And that a big part of it was the repetitive and consistent practice over time of learning to master emotions.
But now I know just how fast the transformative process can be. For example, I had been searching for an explanation and a cure for a mystery illness one of my children had been struggling with for a few years. After countless and frustrating attempts to uncover what was at the root of his symptoms, the answer came in a day after we did the Triple Heart Healing Technique together! He is now in the road to regaining his health and getting on with life as a teenager.
The Key Factor:
The gist of how the technique works is based on something you probably already know. But the shift of it resides in a few things you might not yet know!
Very simply put, the underlying issue in having difficulty creating the life we desire is “inconsistent vibration”. And the inconsistent vibration is a conflict between thoughts and emotions. In other words, a conflict between your head and your heart. And because our culture emphasizes the intellect and the mind, we learn early on in life to ignore the wisdom and intuition of our hearts – and in doing so, disconnect from our most powerful energetic organ that we have!
In your mind you can think and repeat this thought: “I am Successful”
But if you truly feel: Anxiety about your current situation, Fear of not measuring up, or Shame about past failures, your heart will be broadcasting this emotion-based signal every moment!
No wonder it can be hard to change our circumstances if we don’t know HOW to access and tap into different energies to create a different outcome.
I’m sure you’ve heard the Einstein quote that says the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting a different outcome. So how, exactly, do we do something different?
That’s the HOW-To that comes into play in the Triple Heart Healing Technique. We learn to tap into the hidden heart energies in our own physiology while at the same time accessing a new quantum reality….
What’s really interesting is that one of the latest theories in quantum physics provides the “how-to” of accessing expanded possibilities. So we no longer have to rely on the “old” to create something new! The latest discovery in quantum physics is upending the current understanding of Quantum Wave Mechanics- you know, the theory that we probably first encountered either in advanced science classes or in the “What the Bleep Do We Know?” film; if you saw this film you may remember the particle-wave duality that was briefly explained.
When I learned how the particle-wave duality is now understood, this was the moment that knocked my socks off! I’ve figured out how to translate this new understanding into our own lives and shift out of old patterns!
If you are interested in the intersection of science and spirituality, you may want to join me for my online webinar where I share the hidden heart energy, the quantum experiment and a step-by-step practice for manifesting a new reality! Click here to register
In the webinar, I will be covering:
The Triple Heart structure: Biology, energetics and moving stuck emotions through the hidden hearts
The 12 Chromatic Chakras – the missing link: the 5 Aquarian chakras for healing and balance
The latest quantum physics Theory and what it means for us as human beings
The Triple Heart Healing Technique: what it is, how to do it, and what to expect
If you are ready to try something totally new, based on a new process and new scientific understanding, click here to register!
Here’s what people are saying about the Triple Heart Healing Technique:
“The Triple Heart Technique is absolutely Amazing! It is so fast and so simple…when I was driving last week, I was in an emotional state that just seemed to pop up, so I pulled into a store parking lot and used it. The relief was instant. It’s such a gift. Thank You!” BH
“ I now have a sense of understanding how to manifest that makes me feel like “oh, I get this now”. You just made it more real for me! Thank you, again! I love your work!” Kathy W
“I haven’t felt such a deep sense of peace for a long time – and it only took a few minutes! No wonder I was procrastinating, there was too much mind chatter going on and now I’m calm and get on with things. Thank you!” Rhonda C
“I love how you combine DNA healing music with the triple heart… I can feel my cells changing –and have a new outlook on life!” Cheryl A
In gratitude and with blessings for a heart-centered holiday season!
When our Work and our Worth get Entangled… Part 2 of Creating from the Clear Heart Series.If you’d like to learn more about the process of Creating from the Clear Heart, please email me for the code and PIN for my free webinar replay! email@example.com
I get about 5 to 6 emails a day from experts on some topic related to “how to change my life”. This is a result of placing a high value on growth and consciousness, spirituality and the pursuit of excellence in my personal and professional life. Because of this, I’ve signed up for lots of newsletters, telesummits and workshops over the years. Many of the emails are focused on what others think may be wrong with me and “how to fix it”! About one week into the New Year, I received this presumptuous email from a “guru” that really turned me off.
Here’s what it said: From a self-help leader: “Hi Ronna! You seem to be a little bit confused about exactly what your mission is here on planet Earth. I would like to offer a bit of help.” Wow! I didn’t think I was confused… not even a “little bit”! I know exactly why I am here and I believe that everyone knows this in their hearts. In fact, my youngest child asked me when he was 5 years old, “Mom, Why I am here?” He really meant it in the BIG way, and not related to why we were in a particular room in the house. I told him: “Why don’t you sit down and get quiet, and ask yourself this question.” He did. After about 15 seconds, he jumped up and said: “I am here to help parents and kids love each other.” As the saying goes…. From the mouths of babes oft comes great wisdom.
This leads me to Part 2 of the article I posted on 1-31-2015. My previous blog is entitled: “When Love and Control Get Confused”. The same process that I described in that article is present if someone is struggling with life purpose. Underneath this struggle, invariably is an entanglement with work and worth. When our Work and our Worth get confused or entangled, we can be assured that we are not creating from a clear heart. Instead, we are going about our work from an underlying place of fear. Or to say it another way, we are creating from a place of the head and a list of “should’s”… such as, “I should stay at the job that I dislike because I might not get a better one… I should be responsible… I should do what’s expected of me… I should play it safe and stay with the known.”
Another factor that is often “at work” in this issue is creating from a common misconception: believing that the work we do in the world, determines our worth. In the webinar on February 12th, I will share with you how I untangled from this common fallacy in 2014…. It was a challenging process, like many of life’s most important lessons. The backdrop of this lesson was that someone I trusted attempted to take everything, and I mean every “thing” that I had worked to create in my adult life. I will share what happened in 2014 during the call. And because of the sensitive nature of what I will share with you, I may not rebroadcast the webinar, so if you are interested, be sure to tune in! (see details below.)
Back to my son’s wisdom at age 5: I believe that we each have this clarity and that we don’t need someone else to help us remember what we have forgotten (if we have!) As adults, the process of remembering our purpose can be a bit more involved than it is for children who are free of mental clutter, responsibilities and obligations. But the process of tapping into profound insight is the same. But before we can “Change” or do something differently, I believe that we owe it to ourselves to STOP trying to change and first accept where we are now. However, acceptance alone is not the key ingredient. The key ingredient is understanding the purpose that is served by being exactly where we are – whether it’s financial, health, relationship, career, social connections, or just basic dissatisfaction with our lives in general.
I believe that life is all about growth. However, growth does not always lead to change. Some growth creates the wisdom to stay where we are and how we are because we see the value in what we have created. The key word here is wisdom.
In my experience, only when I quit trying to change, was lasting change really possible. In essence, I grew rather than changed. There is a big difference between these two things.
One of the first steps in my life-transition coaching, is to guide clients through a “deep dive” process into the 360 degree review I created and outlined in my film, Sacred Journey of the Heart. I came up with this process to help clients observe the clues all around them which always reflect the deeper meaning about why things are the way they are. When we take the time to actually do this, vs stop trying to change the way things are, awareness and insight bursts through and from here, lasting change is possible.
The same 3 factors I described in my previous article are at work in untangling our work from our worth. http://sacredjourneyoftheheart.com/blog/?p=236
So what impels us to grow? I’ve heard the concept of “divine discontent”. This is the idea that it is our discontent that drives us to align with a deeper heart-space and a higher spiritual purpose. According to this idea, our shortcomings lead us to change. And the desire to change is driven by unhappiness, dissatisfaction and disconnect from something essential.
In my years of coaching and counseling, I’ve discovered that trying to change from a foundation of discontent, leads to more of the same. Why? Because we are trying to create something new, from a basis of the old. It would be like trying to plant a garden in a fallow patch of earth.
My suggestion is to allow yourself to be motivated to grow by accepting and understanding where you are now. If you feel out of sync with your work, you may want to explore my Clear Heart process.
Here are some signs of an entanglement with work and worth:
- Conflicts with people at work that are distracting and disruptive
- Getting annoyed with your boss and co-workers
- Feeling exhausted at the end of the day
- Believing that you are not in the right line of work
- Trying to convince yourself that you are working at a certain job because you have to
- Believing that your work reflects upon your worthiness
The question again is: Why do we do this and accept these conditions? The answer is the same as in my previous article. Many of us grew up believing that work and worthiness are inextricably woven together. And if we believe this on any level, we then think that we need to change our work in order to change our lives.
I presented a free webinar on The Clear Heart Program on 2-12. The replay of the event is available by request: firstname.lastname@example.org
Happy Heart Month!
Untangling the energy of love from the fear of control
(webinar info below- February 11, 2015 at 6 pm Mountain)by Ronna Prince, HeartMath & Radical Forgiveness Coach, Brain Tek Practitioner and Filmmaker, Sacred Journey of the Heart
Have you ever found yourself in a tense situation with a loved one, family or friend that was frustrating or annoying? Did you feel like whatever you said was misinterpreted, ignored or rebuffed? Or has a loved one suggested something to you that set you on edge, leaving you feeling criticized or attacked.
This happened to me a while ago, when my loved one suggested I do something different to improve my sleep patterns. It was a simple suggestion but I found myself feeling annoyed, criticized and rejected. I even had a few imaginary conversations with him to practice what I was going to say -you know, “give him a piece of my mind!” Then Whoa! I had an aha moment… I realized that he was suggesting this to me because he loves me, not because he was trying to control me. (Any by the way, when you want to give someone a “piece of your mind”, it is invariably connected to shutting off a chunk of your heart!)
The reality is that a person who loves us is always “involved” with us on many levels…. and being invOLVEd contains the letters “IN LOVE”! So how did I confuse his loving involvement with control? And even more importantly, how could I EVOLve my consciousness of this issue without LOVE? Well, the answer is, I couldn’t. It was time to make a different, clear-hearted choice.
A KEY to making the choice to give and receive from a clear heart is learning to untangle the emotion and expression love from a deeply seated fear of being controlled by a loved one. The truth is that love and fear cannot reside in the same space- so in my view, this is the most important relationship issue to heal.
Here are some signs of an entanglement with love and fear of control:
- Petty arguments that repeat over and over and are not resolved with love
- Getting annoyed when you are asked to do something small for a loved one (such as “Will you please pick up my dry cleaning on the way home?” or “Would you mind mailing this letter for me?”)
- Putting off or avoiding physical intimacy, including no longer holding hands or giving neck and back rubs or neglecting to just touching your loved one in passing
- Not listening with your full attention when your loved one is talking to you
- Feeling resentment when your loved one makes suggestions about something you could do differently or better
- Saying nasty little things in your head about your loved one
- Faking your actions or reactions in any way at all.
The question is: Why do we do this? Just looking at the list, it seems obvious that these are relationship busters and petty behaviors that we should have grown out of when we grew up!
But the problem is, many of us never really grew up understanding that love does not mean control! We experienced a lot of things our parents did to us or for us, as controlling us. For the most part, this is a healthy part of growing up with parents who had reasonable rules and good personal boundaries. But if there were some unhealthy connections between love and control, we most likely have carried these into our significant relationships. Over time, our behaviors will crop up in insidious ways to undermine the foundation of our primary love relationships as adults.
So what is the solution? It is learning to untangle the reality of love from a fear of being controlled by a loved one.
Here are a few suggestions to begin the process of “untanglement” – this leads to what I call “A Clear Heart”. Because if your heart is cluttered with fear of being controlled by someone who is simply trying to love you, you are pushing away the very thing that can heal you. (And by the way, I love the topic of quantum entanglement in relationship! The idea is that at all times, we are with exactly the right person to mirror a greater whole that consists of two parts coming together in a “spooky dance”!)
I have defined 3 categories that are all involved in the process of letting go of entanglement and 4 ways to change the resulting patterns:
Cognitive: these are a series of questions to ask yourself from a Clear Heart space. I will share some examples below. This “Clear Heart” practice involves using your thoughts and emotions, largely based on things that you already know. This process can begin the journey of relationship healing.. but it only gets you so far because most of the entanglement occurs at a subconscious, unconscious AND physiological levels. Emotional love-control entanglement is deeply rooted in learned behaviors and belief systems imposed on you before you were able to make your own decisions. So the next two categories are where the real transformation happens.
Spiritual: In order to untangle love and control issues at a deeper level, I believe that engaging in a spiritual practice is very important. If you realize that you have been impacted by unhealthy beliefs around love and control, spiritual practices such as meditation and prayer are essential to evolve beyond the little self or the ego. I also practice the 5 steps of Radical Forgiveness and live a RF-based lifestyle. Radical Forgiveness is a powerful system developed by Colin Tipping that “busts” your victim stories and provides you with a step-by-step process of empowerment. (see link below for a recorded webinar during which I discuss how RF works.)
Physiological: I use two more powerful modalities that address the two places that our emotions and thoughts about things get entangled: our heart and our brain. Without learning how to consciously manage these two important organs, we get limited results with cognitive and spiritual practices. These two modalities are HeartMath tools and techniques and Brain Tek’s Behavioral Relationship Entrainment Program. (Both of these are discussed in detail in earlier blog posts.) The good news is that both of these practices are effective, easy and convenient to learn and to use on a regular basis in the privacy of your own home. With the HeartMath practices, you learn how to harness the physiological power of your heart to decrease stress, increase a genuine connection with yourself and others and develop creative heart-based solutions to any situation.
But for me, the real “missing link” has been in the physiological neural wiring in the brain. If your brain is wired through repetition and conditioning to interpret events as dangerous, controlling or fearful, no amount of cognitive processing, spiritual practice or heart coherence activity can over-ride a deep-brain based pattern. What Brain Tek’s program does, is to free up stuck neural patterns and create more effective neural connections so that you CAN consistently and effectively put all the other techniques in to practice.
If you are interested in learning about exactly how this works and hearing about the real results I have experienced with myself and my clients, watch this webinar presentation I offered last month.
I am offering a 20% discount on the 6 week BRE program for the first 3 people who sign up for the program. It is easy, effective, lasting and life-changing! Contact me at: email@example.com
The Clear Heart Practice: Questions to Untangle love from fear
Before entering into the clear heart practice, I do a short meditation and an innovative heart-connection that I’ve developed over the years. I will be sharing this specific technique in a free webinar in February (See below for details).
Sample questions in the Clear Heart Practice:
- Am I open to receiving love or am I blocking love out of fear?
- Is my loved one really trying to control me or is he/she simply loving me and trying to help?
- What am I afraid will happen if I do what is being asked of me?
- Do I need to be right more than I desire to be loved? – a popularized phrase but very powerful in the context of the Clear Heart practice.
- What is stopping me from reaching out to my loved one?
- Am I willing to let go of fear of rejection and put this into application?
- Am I willing to own my projections and love the part of myself that is afraid of not being worthy of love? (a Key Radical Forgiveness principal).
These questions are just one way to begin to untangle old patterns and open to love from the clear heart. Join me in learning more about the integration of these practices!
Title: Creating from a Clear Heart
Date & Time: Wednesday, February 11th at 6:00pm Mountain
Attend by Phone: (audio only)
Guest pin code: 339751#
Primary dial in number: (425) 440-5100
Secondary dial in number: (619) 471-1669
Full list of dial in Numbers:
Event Page: (Audio with Power Point slides!)
Happy Heart Month!
Interested in learning more on this topic? Join my 1 hour webinar – info below.
How often have you heard someone tell you, when contemplating what to do about an issue, to “just let it go”? Or have you found yourself saying, “I just have to let this go..” and then realizing later that the issue, person or thing is still there, lurking around the corner? Or even more obvious, you find yourself facing another situation just like the one you gotten out of! I’ve seen this with my clients and experienced it myself, in relationships, work related projects, issues of health like the recurring 10 pound weight loss and gain. This pattern reminds me of the French saying, “the more things change, the more they stay the same.”
After spending some time immersed in the pattern of “letting go” and having it crop up again, I finally got to the core of this issue that underpins a lot of repeating experience. And I call that getting to the core of the 5 W’s of Letting Go and Holding Dear. And these are not the journalistic – who, what, when, where and why questions! Those are just facts that fall into place after the foundational “W”s are solidified.
The Foundational 5 “W”s in the Art of Letting Go and the Act of Holding Dear
I am going to delve into each one of these during my webinar on 1-21, 2015 during which I will share with you the specifics of how to work with these 5 energies or states of being.
But before we get to that next week, I have listed below the 5 surefire ways of having something we want to let go of, happen again (i.e. what not to do) and 5 reliable ways to ensure that we expand upon the things that we hold dear to our hearts. It looks like a simple list, but it’s an empowering starting process to become more clear and conscious about what we are creating in 2015.
|How to ineffectively let go – i.e. bring it on again!||How to truly let it go – a new beginning:|
|Letting go without learning the lesson||What have I learned? How did I grow from this situation?|
|Letting go without realizing the gift||What is the gift In what happened? What happened for me, vs “to me”.|
|Letting go with blame, regret or shame||How did I contribute to this situation? Have I truly forgiven those involved?|
|Letting go with conditions||Am I holding onto conditions such as “I will let go only if I’m sure it won’t happen again.”|
|Letting go with the spiritual bypass (or cop-out) of “it’s all good”||Have I allowed myself to feel my true feelings around the situation – or have I stuffed and denied how I feel?|
About mid-way through 2014, I started using this new technique and tool for myself… and in doing so, I shifted out of some old patterns that continued to clear and in late December 2014, completely ended. I have never been so excited about a New Year as I am in January 2015!
I invite you to join me to create from a new platform in 2015!
Title: The Art of Letting Go
Time: Wednesday, January 21st at 5:00pm Mountain
Listening method: Phone + Web Simulcast
To attend, visit:
Phone Number: (425) 440-5100
Pin Code: 339751#
Are you ready for the holidays or are you like me, doing last minute shopping and meal planning? In the midst of last minute activities, it seems like I’m bombarded by “last chance” emails, ads and signs everywhere I look. Today, I’m pondering “last chances” – of which there really are very few in life, and “second chances” – what we gift to ourselves and others when make new choices.
When you think about it for a minute, there are truly very few things in life that are last chances…. But if we end up missing a last chance at something important, it can be really hard to let go of feelings of regret and move on… and in looking back, we can easily end up missing second chances that are right there in front of us now. In this article, I’ll share with you 3 ways to shift out of last chanc-ing.
The problem with last chance thinking and acting is twofold and it runs on a very powerful emotion-based program.
Here is the problem with last-chances: 1) they prey on our tendency toward impulsivity, bypassing the higher-brain processes of reason and logic and, 2) they pull at our heart-strings, typically in ways that deplete our energy… as in “I should do x, y, or z, or else….”
This is because “last chances” are tied into old wired-in emotional patterns of fear and regret. Fear and regret are very powerful because they keep us looking backward at the past and/or lock us into anxiety about the future never presenting us with an opportunity again.
When we dissect it this way, it’s easy to see how dysfunctional last chance thinking and acting really is!
Here is a personal example I just experienced. My younger brother, John, today is happy, well-adjusted, employed and in a committed relationship. Five years ago, he was homeless, alone and literally wandering in the desert in Arizona. I didn’t know if he was alive or dead. He had been missing for about 3 years. The last time I saw him was in 2007 when I left him at a rehab center for indigent people. He had spiraled into alcoholism after our mom died in 2002 and his wife left him. He had run out of “one last chances” with me as I had learned how to stop enabling his addiction.
A few years later in 2010, I was playing the Radical Forgiveness game called “Satori” that is featured in my film, Sacred Journey of the Heart. Satori is a board game created by Colin Tipping, that takes the players through all 5 steps of Radical Forgiveness that I depict in the film. Playing the game results in reframing issues to a new perspective that literally shifts reality in small and sometimes huge ways.
Each player “randomly” selects an issue from a stack of cards and plays the game around that particular issue. The card I picked for the game that day in 2010 was “Alcohol and Drugs have affected your life” and the context was Family. So obviously, I was being led to dive deep into Radical Forgiveness about my brother John’s alcoholism. It was one of the toughest games of Satori I ever played. Through the process, I was able to look at how I still blamed myself for not doing enough for him, not just through his addiction, but when we were growing up and I was trying to fill in for an absent dad and a stressed out mom who had gone to back to school to get her master’s degree after her divorce. I was able to shift into a new perspective about the events around his addiction and see what the experience did “for” me vs “to” me. It helped me untangle my lack of self-forgiveness and enter into deep forgiveness for my brother and through him, for myself.
Literally 10 days after I played the Satori game in August 2010, my brother was found in the desert, brought back to our hometown in the Midwest and entered into a very strict rehab program. All he had to his name was a change of clothes. He didn’t even have an ID card. Less than 10% of the people entering the rehab program complete it. My brother was one of the successful graduates.
Today, he is sober, he has rebuilt his life, he has a good job and he is living in a committed and happy relationship. It is a miracle that was built on radical forgiveness, his hard work, the support of many people and the second chance he received to start again.
The other day he called to ask me for a recipe of one of our mom’s favorite holiday breakfast casseroles. I told him it was in the 3-ring binder book that my mom gave to each one of us before she died. The book contained her favorite recipes, favorite poems and the original artwork and poetry she created as she was dying from brain cancer. It was a gift we all cherished because it contained so many fond memories and her expressions of love which came through her cooking, poetry and art.
John reminded me that he had lost the book of our mom’s precious gift. I said to myself, “Ah! That’s right! He had literally lost every single thing he owned from his past.”
Of course, I emailed him the recipe right away but in that moment, I knew what to give my brother this Christmas. One by one, I copied each page from the 3 ring binder book from our mother. The recipes are in black and white, the artwork and poetry are in color – about 250 pieces of paper and several hours of my time were spent in gratitude that my mom left us such an amazing gift. And in deep gratitude that my brother had not at all “lost” this part of his past: the legacy of love from our mom that I could give back to him.
I believe that there are always second chances for love. Radical Forgiveness opened my heart in 2010 and I got my brother back. And my brother is getting the gift from our mother back!
I’ve continued my exploration of emotions and the brain, the heart and the mind since 2010. I’ve discovered that doing the HeartMath program, Voyage to Heart Intelligence, activates the power of our hearts and creates many second chances for love and great moment-to-moment connections with the present moment.
And my latest discovery, Brain Tek’s brain wave entrainment program, caps it all off by unwiring stuck pathways in the brain that tend to resurface during stressful times. Brain Tek’s personalized sound therapies literally create new pathways in the brain that end worry, rumination, anxiety and procrastination.
I will be comparing all three programs next Monday, December 29th 2014 at 5 pm Mountain time. My primary focus will be Brain Tek – if you’ve missed my other free webinars, here’s your second chance to learn how to permanently change old patterns and give yourself the gift of living in the present!
For information on how to join the free webinar email: firstname.lastname@example.org
Permanent PeaceSee info at the end of this post for a free webinar, Thursday, December 4 at 6 pm Mountain Daylight Time
Do gratitude and peace go hand-in-hand or is it possible to experience one without the other?
This is the question I’m pondering as I get ready to prepare the Thanksgiving feast I will have with friends and family tomorrow.
My personal answer is that I believe we can feel and express gratitude and NOT feel peaceful inside – but by contrast, we CANNOT feel peaceful without feeling grateful at the same time. Make sense?
It should if you think about it. Here’s an example:
It’s easy to feel grateful for the things that we have in the moment – family, relationships, health, jobs, shelter, food, clean water and transportation to get to get to where we need to go. At the same time, it’s common for people to feel anxious about the future and losing any one of these things. In other words, it’s common to feel grateful for the present and to worry about the future. It’s also common to feel grateful about the present and to feel depressed about the past. When we live this way, gratitude can quickly wash away with the next wave to hit the shore.
BUT if you are truly at peace, deep peace, you are not sad about the past or worried about the future. In the present moment, the only moment we have, the backdrop of our experience is a feeling of gratitude for everything that has happened, and a knowingness that whatever the future brings, we can still choose to come from this inner place of peace.
In my film Sacred Journey of the Heart, I actually described this state of being grateful for the past and everything that happened to me, including a childhood of abuse. And I courageously ended the film saying that “my heart will lead the way”, to whatever the future had in store for me. But I really wasn’t at peace- not yet – because my brain actually did not know how to function this way!
Literally, my brain was hard-wired for hyper-vigilance, a state of being on guard for impending threats. My nervous system was locked in to a low grade anxiety that could spike to intense anxiety at a moment’s notice. My limbic system, the emotional part of our brain, was programmed for sadness that sometime tipped into low-grade depression. And a deep brain structure, called the cingulate gyrus, that is actually shaped like a loop, kept me wired into a pattern of rumination and worry about “what if….” And worst case scenarios – all so I could be prepared in case of danger.
As you undoubtedly know, this is in no way, connected to a state of inner peace. I was grateful, but I was not at peace.
If this sounds familiar, I can also tell you that there is a way out of this, and it is easy, relatively quick and it is lasting. The result is that state of being that I call Permanent Peace.
The problem is, you can’t get to Permanent Peace unless you can get at the underlying pattern that the brain defaults to in times of uncertainty and stress. For me, this is the Missing Link. It’s what I discovered in my 4 week Behavioral Relationship Entrainment program offered by Brain Tek, a cutting edge research group in California. I’m now certified to offer this to my clients which I’ve been doing for a few months with great results all the way around. Here is a typical comment after a client has been through the “un-wiring – re-wiring” brain/behavioral program:
“The Brain Tek program has been one of the most positive things I’ve done for myself. I am happier, more patient and less anxious. I’m more organized, and motivated and get more done in a day than I did in a week. I can’t thank Ronna enough for introducing me to Braintek.”
Katie J. LCSW
What is Permanent Peace?
I believe it’s an inner state grounded upon understanding, acceptance, and trust. For me personally, there is also a very prominent spiritual component to this that I practice in daily prayer and meditation. I am now able to consistently be in this deep inner place of peace, because my deep brain structures that reacted to past experiences are freed up. My higher cortical reasoning function, i.e. the frontal cortex of my brain, can now choose to be at peace, rather than run my response based on past patterns.
Permanent Peace includes:
- Freedom from anxiety, worry and rumination
- Alleviation of depression
- Elimination of fear (which I call “Familiar Energy Arising Repetitively”)
- Ability to enjoy the moment
- Staying focused on one’s core values and ethics
- Contributing to the betterment of other’s lives
- Equanimity in the face of the unknown
- Feeling connected to everyone and everything without identifying with it
In this state, gratitude is natural, it flows and it becomes the foundation for everyday life, not just a special day, a time of prayer or a response to something good happening. This is permanent peace, and it does surpass understanding. I do believe it is possible and I have experienced it in my life and seen it in the lives of others who dive in to the cause of anxiety, fear and depression – unwiring the deep brain structures so that our personal practices can direct the flow of our lives.
If you are interested in learning more, please join me on Thursday, December 4, 2014 at 6 pm Mountain time for more information about Brain Tek and the program that rewires your brain for Permanent Peace.
Title: BRE Program Presentation
Time: Thursday, December 4th at 6:00pm Mountain
Listening method: Phone + Web Simulcast
To attend, visit:
Phone Number: (425) 440-5100
Pin Code: 339751#
Happy Thanksgiving and many blessings,
Free Conference call to learn more about this topic: See end of article for info.
If you’ve ever felt that you are stuck in the “same-old, same-old” routine, it may be time to leap out of the rut and into something entirely new! I found myself in just that place in late Spring when certain things in my life and business had gotten stagnant and stuck. I felt sort of like this cow:
Knowing that I have a tendency “rock the boat” big-time and end up in deep water, I decided it was time to find an easier pathway to creating change without bringing on a perfect storm in my life! Read the rest of this entry
5 Heart Warming C’s: Curiosity, Circulation, Correlation, Coherence, Commitment
“It’s time to lift the spirit of depression of each one around us….to melt the ice in the heart of humanity”.
This is one of my favorite lines in Sacred Journey of the Heart film, spoken by Angaangaq Angakkorsuaq, nicknamed “Uncle”, a Greenland Eskimo-Kalaallit Elder and shaman. Uncle is a passionate advocate for indigenous and environmental issues that impact us all. At the heart of it all, according to Uncle, is a world-wide disconnect from our hearts and heart of earth itself. I concur.
As I’ve learned from the Institute of HeartMath, our heart is the key organ that regulates the synchronization of the body as a whole. If you haven’t seen the film, you will enjoy the evidence presented by Dr. Rollin McCraty, HeartMath’s lead scientist and Gregg Braden, NYT best-selling author and researcher that transforms our understanding about the power of the heart. They also provide astounding evidence that there IS a collective heart, and an undeniable connection between the human heart and the earth.
Graphic from Sacred Journey of the Heart© Read the rest of this entry
Have you ever had one of those days when things were just not working out? I had one of those days yesterday and rather than bore you with the details, I’ll just share what I did to get out of the pits and into the place of positive perspective. I call it L-A-U-G-H! And I share my “laugh resources” below. But first, did you know that on Tuesday, May 6, a new world laughter record was set by 1,950 elders in Dada Dadi park in Borivli, India? Here’s a great photo of the group in action!
We know that laughter can be the best medicine. Norman Cousins’ groundbreaking work on laughter changed the way we think about emotion and healing 38 years ago. Read the rest of this entry