Detoxing Buried Secrets and Hidden Loyalties
On the largest scale I have ever witnessed, we are holding people accountable for their actions. We are having new conversations about respect, honesty and integrity.
When I think of some of the things I tolerated in my earlier years because of how I was raised to be a good and quiet little girl, I am no longer sad. Today, I feel inspired, knowing that my daughter and my sons will not do what I did in the past: stay silent. I started talking about what happened to me in 2009 and made a film about it that was released in 2012.
Now, at the beginning of 2018, we have an opportunity to take the conversation deeper into the actual cause of things- not just sit back and watch and say “how terrible”. The real cause of any person harming a less powerful individual, is that there is a buried secret or hidden loyalty that drives them to create pain for some reason. No abuser ever comes out of nowhere, with no pain in their past, and just starts hurting people. No abuse victim stays silent, unless somewhere along the line, secrets and shame were reinforced and intertwined.
I spent the year in 2017 deeply immersed in personal work and study of family constellations based on the work of Bert Hellinger. This is NOT the same as family systems in the field of psychology! It is very different. One of the differences is that constellation work is based on the concept (and in my opinion, reality) of the family soul.
The family soul is a powerful force behind each of our lives. When we shine the light on what is buried deep within our family soul and all those that are closely connected to it, we have the capacity to free ourselves from unconscious patterns. We can understand what is occurring in our lives in a very different way. We free ourselves and others from blame and can truly live with clarity and integrity. This work is similar to Radical Forgiveness but we don’t use the word forgiveness in constellations. We DO however, see the bigger picture and the intertwining of all the people involved. And we are absolutely freed from resentment and blame of self and others.
Diving into this work is very similar to doing any kind of physical detox program. With this work, you can uncover and release the source of what has led to some of the most daunting challenges in your life – whether it’s relationship conflict, job related challenges, financial stress, or a nagging feeling that you are not living in alignment with your purpose. Your true self becomes crystal clear.
Here is an example (used with permission): a client came to me intrigued by the new work I was doing. She had a nagging feeling that she was “missing something”, and underneath that was a deep feeling that her life would end without having accomplished her true purpose in the world. (This woman, by the way, is a very accomplished and conscious individual!) Even deeper than this first layer of fear, as we explored her family soul together, was a fear that she would die alone, unheard and unloved. What we discovered together, was that this very deep feeling was rooted in a real life tragedy that happened in her family. It was never fully grieved and not talked about much.
My clients father’s side was one of 4 boys in the family. The only girl, the first child of in the her father’s family, died at age 2, from a drowning accident. My client also, is the first child in her family! My client shared with me that her father’s parents were both deaf…. so no one heard their little girl’s cries for help. Out of great love, my client had embedded a hidden loyalty to her aunt, unconsciously carrying the memory of this little girl forward so that she would be included in some way, in the family soul. My client recalled that she almost drowned in her mother’s amniotic fluid during birth and had to be in an incubator for the first weeks of her life. This is the kind of pattern we typically see in this work. Once revealed, we no longer wonder.. it is clear as day that from day 1, she was loyally connected to her aunt.
When my client saw this picture in great clarity, she had a powerful emotional and neurological release. It shifted the perspective on her life to the very core and foundation. She has been doing simple healing work to free herself of the hidden loyalty and to consciously include her aunt in her family soul with love and respect.
We worked on this issue on a special coaching avatar platform that I use.It allows us to clearly see the cast of people in the family soul – and transform the picture to a healing image during the session.
This platform can be accessed anywhere in the world so I can help you no matter where you are!
This is truly a life-changing process. I invite you to explore this work with me as your compassionate, intuitive, and loving coach. Offers on my website: http://sacredjourneyoftheheart.com/Store