More snakes on the path? Or why I’m glad no one helped me…. A Path to Freedom
It continues to be a gorgeous spring in the Arizona desert and I love being outside so guess what that means? More snake encounters? I had no idea that the topic of snakes would elicit so many responses from so many people! Thanks for your thoughts and comments.
If you read my last article, you know that when I encountered a rattlesnake a few weeks ago while out riding my bike, I chose to turn around and go back. It led me to think deeply about the meaning of my 3 choices: going around, moving the “obstacle” or turning around.
I’ve also been working with snake as a powerful totem animal: transformation – shedding old skin in order to grow, finding light – to maintain body temperature, and fundamentally, the opportunity for deep healing. And in particular, a venomous snake invites us to look at what is toxic in our lives. So, while out riding again this week, I was on the lookout for snakes from an attitude of a) practicality, b) curiosity and c) caution.
I was riding along the Arizona canal, scanning ahead on my path and again, I spotted a long brown stick-looking object ahead. Being cautious, I slowed down and approached it quietly. My initial thought was, “great! If it’s a snake, I have the room to go around it this time.” I have to admit that I was judging myself a bit for turning around last time. Here’s what I saw:
When I got closer, I realized, “it’s just a stick”! I was both relieved and annoyed with myself for being over-cautious. This gave me a chance to think about the fine line between being on the lookout for danger and being relaxed, knowing that one has the wherewithal to handle the situation. Because at any rate, rattlesnakes will not chase you down and do not strike unless they are directly threatened.
Being metaphysical, I had to ask myself, am I creating these situations out of my own fear or am I just responding to what is already present in the environment? My conclusion is that it is both, even though we could spend some time on the quantum physics concept of the observer’s observation impacting “reality”.
In pondering this question, I realized that over the years, I have developed some very useful skills for dealing with potentially life threatening situations. These skills have been useful in many of life’s challenges that I’ve faced, including my own health situation last year and my daughter’s this year. One of my greatest personal strengths is that I never give up in the face of a challenge when something is important. Because of the abusive treatment I faced in early life, I had to figure out ways to help myself in order to survive.
Looking back at the strengths and gifts I’ve developed, I can honestly say that my adult mind is grateful that I didn’t get the help I was asking for as a child. How can I say that? It forced me to develop strategies to function in day-to-day situations. I had to find activities that I was good at and find things that brought me moments of happiness. Because of the abuse, I learned to excel at music. I learned to find refuge in the lilac bushes in the spring. And I learned to hear and see into other dimensions – what might be called “psychic abilities”, ESP or higher-mind functions.
In the midst of prison behind the closed doors of our little yellow family home, I found freedom in my own mind and my choice to never give up, no matter how horrific things became. I made a choice and I survived against the odds.
My current favorite book is one I came across at Barnes and Noble on Monday. It’s called The Choice, by Dr. Edith Eva Eger. I was perusing the Judaica section looking for Holocaust stories that I had not yet read. Mind you, I was raised a Protestant but due to my abuse background, I have been fascinated by Holocaust survivor stories because I love it when people triumph and thrive despite incredible odds.
When I found this book, I knew it would be eye-opening and life-affirming. Dr. Eger is sometimes called the “Anne Frank who lived”. At age 91, she is still lecturing and changing lives. One of her key phrases in her talks is: “Don’t ask why me? rather, ask, what now?”
I love this question as it lifts us above victimhood and into empowerment. Dr. Eger’s primary message is about freedom. And freedom is a key theme in the year 2019 from a numerology perspective as well as for all of humanity as we make important choices about what the next decades will bring.
Tomorrow, 4-14-2019, I will be sharing my presentation on the numerology themes of 2019. Freedom is just one of them, but it is, in my opinion, the most important theme this year. (If you missed the presentation, it will replay for a few weeks and then be available on my website.)
As Dr. Eger says, “Freedom lies in learning to embrace what happened. Freedom means we muster the courage to dismantle the prison brick by brick.” As I read her book, I realized that on some level, we both have the same purpose: helping others find freedom from the past because we know how to dig deep and do the work. Dr. Eger says it best: “I would love to help you experience freedom from the past, freedom from failures and fears, freedom from anger and mistakes, freedom from regret and unresolved grief – and the freedom to enjoy the full, rich feast of life.”
I haven’t spoken much about the details of what happened to me as a child, I have just stated that I was sexually abused from age 3 to 13. The main reason I haven’t shared details is because I do not want to trigger other abuse survivors’ unhealed memories and I do not want to satisfy voyeuristic curiosity. However, there comes a time in any healing journey that sharing the salient parts in more detail with a caring audience, leads to deeper healing and the possibility of helping more people to come out of their own places of secrecy and hiding.
Because of Dr. Eger, I now plan on speaking out more about my experiences in order to help my clients find their own way out of any form of inner imprisonment. You can see what this looks like by viewing my YouTube video.
Like Dr Eger, I invite you to allow me to help you shed your old skin and to make the Choice to be free.
Contact me for a free 15 minute consultation to see how I may be of service you: Ronna@sacredjourneyoftheheart.com
Springtime in Arizona means much needed rain, wildflower blooms and…. Rattlesnakes coming out of hibernation to warm up in the sun. One of my favorite activities is biking in the desert at all times of year. Each season has its challenges in the desert but the biggest one for me is encountering rattlesnakes on the path. This happened to me yesterday and I realized I now have 3 choices about snakes on the path or any barrier for that matter.
I had carefully chosen my route because we have had a very high amount of rainfall this spring and that means we have a massive amount of wildflowers and other plants encroaching on the trials. Knowing that my usual bike route would be too overgrown with plants to see rattlesnakes, I chose to ride in a different part of the nature preserve where I knew the paths were wider and I would have a clear line of sight to the path ahead.
I had almost reached the farthest point out on the trail where it would curve around and head back, when up ahead, I saw something looking like a long stick across the path. This meant slow down, approach slowly and be cautious! As I approached I could see it was about a 4 foot rattler stretched across the path with its rattle up!
If you’ve followed my ramblings for a few years, you may recall that rattlesnakes have been a big, huge phobia of mine since I was 13 years old. I developed this phobia because we spent that summer in Wyoming farming with my grandfather. It was a very dry summer which meant that all the rattlesnakes were coming down to the irrigation wells to get water.
At the time, there were no cell phones for emergencies. My 15 year old sister I would get dropped off in the beet fields in the early morning to hoe weeds and then we’d get picked up by noon before it got too hot to work. This meant that if we had a rattlesnake encounter, there was nothing we could do other than wait or have one of us walk the 5 miles to the farmhouse to get help. Obviously, this scared the bejesus out of us! After 4 different rattlesnake sightings, our parents realized that it wasn’t safe for us anymore to go out alone into the field. So for the next few days, our dad went with us. On both of those days, he ended up killing rattlesnakes with his hoe in the field.
The final straw was when I sat down on the irrigation ditch to get a drink of water and when I stood up, I realized that right under me was a baby rattler. Apparently, the babies have more concentrated venom than the adults. At that point, we were relieved from hoeing duty and got the rest of the summer off.
You can imagine that as a result of these real, dangerous encounters, I developed a nervous system panic response anytime I see a snake. In 2013, I had the privilege of interviewing Nick Ortner producer of the film The Tapping Solution for a telesummit I hosted. In preparation for the summit, I watched Nick’s film and there was a big segment on helping a woman overcome her fear of snakes. I went into a panic just seeing the snake on the screen so I realized that it was time to deal with my fear of snakes. I did a lot of tapping on my fear about snakes for a few days… and wouldn’t you know, the morning that I was scheduled to interview Nick, I went running in the desert and encountered a rattlesnake! I had the same panic reaction initially but I started tapping and cleared it out of my nervous system right away. If you’d like to hear my interview with Nick where he explains all about tapping, please contact me: firstname.lastname@example.org
Fast forward to yesterday, I didn’t even panic when I saw the rattlesnake! I was alert but not hyper-vigilant. I think it’s because I’ve continued tapping over the years and continued to shift out old fears and stuck emotions.
So basically, as I stood beside my bike about 20 yards away from the sun-basking snake, I realized I had three options: 1) throw a rock at the snake to get it to slither off the bike path, 2) go around the snake by going off the path (into the brush and hoping there were no other snakes I couldn’t see) or 3) turn around and go back the way I came instead of doing the loop. I kind of wanted to take a selfie with the snake but I realized that this could end up on the news under the category of “stupid-human selfies” – just like the woman who got attacked at the Phoenix zoo on March 10th for crossing a zoo barrier to get a selfie with a black panther. So that option was out.
The choice I made yesterday was to just turn around and go back the way I came. Of the three options, this seemed the best. After all, I was in the rattlesnake’s habitat, not the other way around. So I decided I didn’t need to disturb its sunning activity. (And I had a tiny fear that it might chase me down! Yes, a bit of left over amygdala response!) And it didn’t seem prudent to go around the snake just in case its snake family was nearby. So I turned around and headed home.
(FYI: The amygdala is part of the limbic system of the brain, which is involved with emotions and other reactions to stimuli. The amygdala is a processing center that is hooked up to receive incoming messages from our senses and our internal organs. Usually when our amygdala is stimulated, we make decisions we regret later OR we stay in a state of alert or shock for a long time.)
I realize today that we always have these three basic choices whenever we are confronted with a barrier in our path. If we can take the panic and frustration out of the equation, and any other amygdala-type reactions, we have the best chance of making a good decision.
Today, I use quite a few tools to manage my response to challenges: tapping or EFT to shift the emotional response so it doesn’t get carried around or stuffed inside as chronic stress. I use HeartMath tools such as the Freeze Frame to calm down and make true- heart centered (vs reactive) choices. I use Radical Forgiveness if I discover that I’m holding on to some deep-seated or long-standing issues. And finally, I use my newest modality, hypnotherapy to rewire my conscious-subconscious interface to feel more at ease and empowered when I have a choice to make.
My point is, that when we encounter something uncomfortable on our path, we always have a choice. One of my specialties is being able to help my clients navigate challenges and barriers in life to come up with the best possible solutions that lead to a life of great ease and sense of empowerment.
I invite you to explore my client offerings and call me for a free consultation to determine which approach will be the best to help you move forward through any obstacle or barrier you encounter!
|Making lemonade out of lemons… what 2 cancer diagnoses have been teaching me.
This quiet Sunday morning I had just finished the New York Times Sunday crossword puzzle (one of my favorite pastimes!) and I decided to look up a recipe for vegetarian curry. I had never made curry before but I wanted to make something special for my 22 year-old daughter, Sophie, who would be coming home from the hospital in the afternoon. She was completing her second round of chemotherapy treatment for AML – Acute Myeloid Leukemia. This second one was high-dose, compared to the first chemo that she endured in mid-January.
So looking for a curry recipe for Sophie, I found a delicious one on a website called Layers of Happiness… on the front page was a picture of a mother and daughter, two very bonded and happy looking women who blog about great homemade food. And it swept over me, layer after layer, that I have been experiencing Layers of Happiness in this most challenging of times.
I want to share with you how I have found these layers of happiness over the last 7 weeks… and then over the last year since I have been faced with my own cancer diagnosis. (And Please – I ask you NOT to send me information about “cures” you’ve heard about or experienced. If you feel like you have something very important to share with me along these lines, you can send me an email asking me if I’m interested- If I am, I’ll let you know. Thanks for your understanding.)
I know for many of you who have followed my writing and work over the last 15+ years, this may come as a surprise. I kept my own health situation very private. I shared it with only my family and a few close friends. I had many reasons for being so private – first of all because I am a very private person. It was one of my most difficult decisions to share my childhood history of incest in my 2012 documentary film, Sacred Journey of the Heart. But I did it to help others heal and to also help myself come out of hiding with this long-held shame-based secret.
But I also kept my health situation private because I was aware that in the spiritual community, there is a tendency for people to hold a judgmental reaction to health-related issues, especially cancer.
This response consists of simplistic cause-and-effect thinking. These are “Law of Attraction-based attitudes” that lead many people to say things like “You drew this to you by thinking bad thoughts… or you attracted this disease because of bad-karma, or low vibration” or “you didn’t love yourself enough”… .or any number of simplistic, hurtful and essentially limited beliefs about disease and the purpose of healing.
This limited-thinking is one of the main reasons I didn’t share my own experience with very many people, most who aren’t aware of the Higher Laws that go way beyond the Law of Attraction. I have much to say about this (and I have taught extensively about the Higher Laws over the years – see my website www.sacredjourneyoftheheart.com/store ) but this isn’t my focus today. The many Layers of Happiness IS my focus.
When I heard my doctor tell me early last year (2018), “you have breast cancer”, I knew, I just knew, that my own experience with cancer had a deeper meaning that would reveal itself over time. (And I also knew that I would be able to apply my own teachings and facilitate my healing very quickly – which I did!)
Sitting here today, I now know what the deeper meaning is for me. For now, the most important purpose of my diagnosis, is that I paved the way for my daughter. I found resources such as the top alternative docs and treatments in Phoenix, and I had consultations with some of the most innovative thinkers and teachers on the subject of healing. This includes people such as Mariam Kalamian, author of Keto for Cancer. And teachers like Kris Carr and Chris Wark – two brave individuals who have been treating their cancer naturally and teaching others how to do it too. I’ve worked on New German Medicine healing with practitioner Trina Hammack, who healed her own stage 4 ovarian cancer in 2005. And I’ve consulted with Dr. Allen Frankel, MD, the leading expert on the use medical marijuana for auto-immune disease treatment. (These are just a few of the resources I’ve brought together.)
But a secondary meaning is also revealing itself now.
The bottom line is this: I was born with a gift…it goes by many names: pre-cognition, ESP, psychic awareness, or a highly accurate intuition. And it was time, in January 2019, to cast any doubts aside and to deeply trust what I know.
Needless to say, the last 7 weeks of all of our lives have been a life-changing, topsy-turvy experience. To put it mildly, all of in our circle of family and friends endured the shock of her diagnosis and the dawning seriousness of her health as she was admitted in critical condition to the hospital on a seemingly ordinary, sunny Phoenix Monday afternoon. Sophie had been tired and had a large, unexplained bruise on her thigh. We both knew she had to go to the doctor that day. She had been delaying it for about a week. She hadn’t been feeling well but wanted to go snowboarding in Durango with her dad and brothers. At 10,000 feet elevation, no one was too concerned about her being tired and out-of-breath. That seemed normal.
But when she sent me a photo from Durango of the bruise on her leg on January 10th, I immediately texted back and told her, “You need to go to the ER or at least Urgent Care right away”. She hadn’t fallen while snowboarding. I ran into the other room crying and told my fiancé, Donald, “something is seriously wrong with Sophie- I think she has leukemia.”
As I shared my fears with a few more in my family, everyone told me to calm down, to stop being an alarmist/pessimist and hypochondriac, a state of being that I have struggled with my entire life. But as a mom, I knew. I knew that this was not just a normal bruise.
But trying to overcome my innate personality trait, I forced myself to think positively. I tried not to project worry into the future. I kept chanting my mantra: “All will be well”. But sitting here now, 7 weeks later, after everything that has happened, I’m starting to reframe my thoughts and feelings about myself in terms of the gift of intuition that I have had my entire life. Perhaps my inner knowing is NOT about a pessimistic attitude towards life — but it is an awareness, or more accurately, an innate knowingness about the soul-level challenges and lessons we all bring into a life in order to grow as individuals and as groups of family and friends and ultimately, of all the lives we touch with our courage and honesty.
Before I go on to explain what this means, let me first share with you that as of 2-21-2019, Sophie is in remission and her latest bone marrow biopsy is completely cancer-free. She still has to undergo 2 or 3 more rounds of “consolidation” chemo – but she is cancer free now. I have many thanks to give the hundreds, or maybe more like thousands of people, who have been praying for her. But most of all I thank Sophie for showing me a new way of being. And for teaching me the Many Layers of Happiness that can be found in life’s most challenging moments. I walked this path before her and I too, have been completely healed – in my case, since July of 2018.
I have tears flowing from my eyes as I write this. Tears of gratitude, tears of relief, tears of humility, — the tears of a mother that come from a place so deep that it cannot be named… it’s deeper than love… deeper than being proud of the courage this magnificent young woman has displayed over the last weeks… maybe it’s the nameless place of Creation where dreams manifest into reality .. or maybe it can be called grace or an answered prayer….
This one prayer of mine started at the very end of 1995, the time that Sophie was conceived.. My husband and I had been blessed with two amazing sons, her brothers Eric and Alex who at the time were 5 and 2… I wanted a girl… I not only wanted a baby girl but I knew it was my destiny to have a daughter… just as I knew I would be a mother of 4 children…. I have known these things and more, since I was a child.
Here are a few of the things I have known about Sophie and my family:
When Sophie was born, I decided to store her umbilical cord blood. The reason I chose to do this was just in case she or one of our children had leukemia. I did not store the cord blood of our 3 sons. I only stored it for Sophie. Her umbilical cord blood is full of stem cells that can be used to heal her bone marrow if she needs it!
I also absolutely knew that we had to have a fourth child. I won’t go into all of the details about what it took to give birth to Thomas except for this: I had been spotting early on in my pregnancy with Thomas and my Hcg level, the main pregnancy hormone, wasn’t increasing as it should by week 10. So my OB wanted me to schedule a “dilation and cutterage” or D&C to remove the pregnancy. I refused. I knew that my baby was viable. I trusted my intuition. So I insisted that my OB perform an ultrasound even though she said it was unnecessary because the pregnancy in her opinion, wasn’t viable. Much to her surprise, not mine, she exclaimed, “There’s a heartbeat”!!, when we saw the little flutter on the screen that would become Sophie’s little brother Thomas.
Here is the second amazing thing about this story: Thomas is an exact bone marrow match for Sophie! Her two older brothers are not, much to their chagrin, because all 3 of them wanted to be her match. But her 100% match is her little brother, my fourth child, the one I had to fight for to keep and the one that I knew I had to have.
And I also knew, when we heard Sophie’s diagnosis, that she would be healed and fine. I told her on that first day, “Sophie, just as I knew I had to save your cord blood when you were born, I KNOW you are going to be OK”. And here we are, yes with a ways to go, but with a prognosis of 90%+ cure rate and a “cancer-free” status today.
I have also had many, many similar intuition-insights about my own health and healing that I’ve written about over the years.
I will share with you that I went through my own diagnosis and treatment with a deep knowing, as I’ve said, that there was a bigger meaning to my experience. In terms of conventional treatment, I only had surgery to remove the lump in my left breast. I refused radiation and chemotherapy based on my research and my specific diagnosis.
In addition to surgery, I have been very active and committed to complementary alternative medicine. I use a combination of nutritional supplements, a very healthy anti-cancer diet, nutritional IV’s such as high-dose Vitamin C and Quercitin, infrared sauna, coffee enemas, exercise, cold-lasers, and bio-photonic resonance therapies.
On the emotional and spiritual side of healing, I have been incorporating very deep processes of prayer, meditation, my own-created Triple Heart Healing Technique and 12 chakra balancing work (see my website www.ronnaprince.com for webinars and information about my work on these healing tools).
I have also been working with Dr. Alex Loyd’s Healing Codes. I have had profound sessions of Family Constellation work with one of my mentors. I have dived deeply into EFT – or Tapping and much more. I even went to Mexico on a Healing Retreat last November with my coach, Dr. Veronique Desaulniers – a pioneer in healing breast cancer naturally. Thanks Dr. V for your advice, wisdom and support! This retreat was the first time I had talked openly with other women with breast cancer and the first time I shared my diagnosis with people I didn’t really know. It was life-changing. But I wasn’t ready to share my experience with others who knew me yet… it wasn’t yet time.
As you can see, with all of these myriad healing techniques I use, when I do something- I do it all the way!!
So as I approached the one year anniversary of my diagnosis – BEFORE Sophie was diagnosed with cancer, I was pondering these questions:
My entire life has been about listening to and heeding these “callings”. I have often asked God, the Source of my comfort and peace, “Where are You leading me?” I’ve had to ask this question many times before in my life when I was called to a Really Big Surrender (RBS). Here are just two of my RBS:
#1 RBS: At age 33, when I was pregnant with my 2nd son Alex, I feel on the ice in Illinois at 23 weeks gestation. I went into pre-term labor a few hours later. I was told by the OB’s at the hospital that they couldn’t stop my labor… and they said that my son had only a 10% chance of survival if he were to be born that early in 1993. I asked in prayer: “What would you have me do GOD?” The answer I heard was: “Surrender and name him Alex Nathan and all will be well.” (Nathan, I learned later, means the Lamb of God). All was well as I continued to carry my pregnancy to full term against the odds. Today, Alex is almost 26 now and he’s a talented musician!
#2 RBS: At age 43, I kept “hearing” from my spiritual guide, that I had to quit my lucrative corporate banking job and hang up a shingle as a Spiritual Intuitive Counsellor – with no real experience. I was told this at age 13 by him, (my non-physical guide): “You will be required to share your gift at mid-life and I will tap you on the shoulder when it’s time.” He was persistent! Tap, tap, tap… “Quit your job! Go out and share your gift”. I then asked at age 43, “What would you have me do God?” (I didn’t want to do something so weird and unconventional – I just wanted to be “normal”) The answer I heard was, “Go out and help people heal their hearts. Help others to learn to listen as you have learned. Help people learn to trust as you trust your inner voice”.
And I did just that. In 2005, my first “real” client was Karen whose daughter Kerri had just passed away from AML – the same exact diagnosis that my daughter received a few weeks ago. God/Spirit was directing my path in big and little ways and I kept surrendering.
I need to pause here to offer a very special thank you my dear friend Karen, who is still a big part of my life! Thank you for encouraging me to share my gift with you when you came into the office that day in 2005 with tears of grief flowing down your cheeks. Remember I said to you, “I can’t help you, I have no idea what it is like to lose a child.” And you said, “Please Ronna, I was directed to you for a reason.” And when I closed my eyes to channel for you, Mother Mary came through immediately, flooding the room with unconditional love and peace – a feeling that is difficult to describe. Mary said to you through me: “I can help you, I know what it feels like to lose a Beloved Child.” And I proceeded to share a message from Mary of healing and hope, and at the end, your beautiful daughter Kerri came through and shared things with you that I had no way of knowing!! Because of your trust in me Karen, I had the courage to keep sharing my gifts!!
The many Layers of Happiness I have been experiencing most profoundly in the last 7 weeks have been inspired by unexpected moments of joy and purposeful moments of gratitude. Here are a few:
On a personal level of the past year, I have spent a lot of time in nature and in prayer. My life has become a moving prayer wheel, spinning all the time with signs of hope and profound experiences of healing. I am surrounded every step of the way with loving people, angels, guides, and animals.
Synchronicity is the leading energy of my life now. Just a few weeks after Sophie’s admission to the hospital, my naturopathic doctor’s group moved right into the hospital complex! And my own doctor, Dr Melissa Coats, has become Sophie’s naturopathic oncologist. To top that off, Dr. Coats is known to be a leading expert on blood cancers in the Phoenix area. I didn’t know any of that would happen – I just knew that my healing would involve a natural approach to health and well-being and now it is becoming part of Sophie’s path.
A few of my own Layers of Happiness include:
And most of all, knowing that love is the most powerful force in all of the world. Love itself does not heal, because so many people have lost loved ones to disease that were deeply, deeply loved and cared for. But love brings us together, it shows us the way in trying times… and it even opens the doorway to Layers of Happiness, when we find miracles in the small things and acts of incredible grace in face of the big challenges.
Over the next few months, I will get back on track with my work including my webinar on the Numerology Themes of 2019. I appreciate your patience with me as we continue on this journey of healing and love… a true Sacred Journey of the Heart.
If you are on a healing journey, I would be honored to help you. I can help you in many ways: learning to trust your intuition, learning to listen to your inner voice, learning to choose a path that leads to Layers of Happiness.
Throughout all this last year, I have continued to work with my clients. It’s not really work for me. It is the fulfillment of a calling. It is what I am here to do. I’ve had a few people suggest that I needed to take time off to just care for myself and my daughter. I know that would not be good for me because I am always filled up with love when I help others. And in the midst of all of this, I have found many ways to slow down, to balance, and to listen more deeply to my heart. And most of all, to just sit and do nothing but feel the Many Layers of Happiness, Joy and Gratitude wash over me.
I have walked the path before my daughter and I’m still on it. Learning, living and laughing with Layers of Happiness each day.
On the largest scale I have ever witnessed, we are holding people accountable for their actions. We are having new conversations about respect, honesty and integrity.
When I think of some of the things I tolerated in my earlier years because of how I was raised to be a good and quiet little girl, I am no longer sad. Today, I feel inspired, knowing that my daughter and my sons will not do what I did in the past: stay silent. I started talking about what happened to me in 2009 and made a film about it that was released in 2012.
Now, at the beginning of 2018, we have an opportunity to take the conversation deeper into the actual cause of things- not just sit back and watch and say “how terrible”. The real cause of any person harming a less powerful individual, is that there is a buried secret or hidden loyalty that drives them to create pain for some reason. No abuser ever comes out of nowhere, with no pain in their past, and just starts hurting people. No abuse victim stays silent, unless somewhere along the line, secrets and shame were reinforced and intertwined.
I spent the year in 2017 deeply immersed in personal work and study of family constellations based on the work of Bert Hellinger. This is NOT the same as family systems in the field of psychology! It is very different. One of the differences is that constellation work is based on the concept (and in my opinion, reality) of the family soul.
The family soul is a powerful force behind each of our lives. When we shine the light on what is buried deep within our family soul and all those that are closely connected to it, we have the capacity to free ourselves from unconscious patterns. We can understand what is occurring in our lives in a very different way. We free ourselves and others from blame and can truly live with clarity and integrity. This work is similar to Radical Forgiveness but we don’t use the word forgiveness in constellations. We DO however, see the bigger picture and the intertwining of all the people involved. And we are absolutely freed from resentment and blame of self and others.
Diving into this work is very similar to doing any kind of physical detox program. With this work, you can uncover and release the source of what has led to some of the most daunting challenges in your life – whether it’s relationship conflict, job related challenges, financial stress, or a nagging feeling that you are not living in alignment with your purpose. Your true self becomes crystal clear.
Here is an example (used with permission): a client came to me intrigued by the new work I was doing. She had a nagging feeling that she was “missing something”, and underneath that was a deep feeling that her life would end without having accomplished her true purpose in the world. (This woman, by the way, is a very accomplished and conscious individual!) Even deeper than this first layer of fear, as we explored her family soul together, was a fear that she would die alone, unheard and unloved. What we discovered together, was that this very deep feeling was rooted in a real life tragedy that happened in her family. It was never fully grieved and not talked about much.
My clients father’s side was one of 4 boys in the family. The only girl, the first child of in the her father’s family, died at age 2, from a drowning accident. My client also, is the first child in her family! My client shared with me that her father’s parents were both deaf…. so no one heard their little girl’s cries for help. Out of great love, my client had embedded a hidden loyalty to her aunt, unconsciously carrying the memory of this little girl forward so that she would be included in some way, in the family soul. My client recalled that she almost drowned in her mother’s amniotic fluid during birth and had to be in an incubator for the first weeks of her life. This is the kind of pattern we typically see in this work. Once revealed, we no longer wonder.. it is clear as day that from day 1, she was loyally connected to her aunt.
When my client saw this picture in great clarity, she had a powerful emotional and neurological release. It shifted the perspective on her life to the very core and foundation. She has been doing simple healing work to free herself of the hidden loyalty and to consciously include her aunt in her family soul with love and respect.
We worked on this issue on a special coaching avatar platform that I use.It allows us to clearly see the cast of people in the family soul – and transform the picture to a healing image during the session.
This platform can be accessed anywhere in the world so I can help you no matter where you are!
This is truly a life-changing process. I invite you to explore this work with me as your compassionate, intuitive, and loving coach. Offers on my website: http://sacredjourneyoftheheart.com/Store
- The Family Soul – what is it, how does it operate, who is included in the family soul?
- The 4 Unconscious Themes
- Becoming a family soul detective… creating your genogram
- How these themes trigger the ringing of our ancestral alarm clock
- How to turn off the alarm and change your destiny
Title: Ancestral Alarm Clock – Turn it Off/Change Destiny
Date & Time: Thursday, December 7th at 5:00 PM Mountain Time (time zone converter link):
Attend by Phone:
Guest pin code: 339751#
Primary dial in number: (425) 440-5010
Secondary dial in number: (619) 471-1669
Full list of dial in Numbers:
See you online!
Ronna Prince is a filmmaker and coach certified in many modalities. At the end of this article, is a special offer to participate in newest, life-changing process.
We all know that we are as adults, a product of many things including the impactful influence of our family of origin. As we grow and learn more about what makes us tick, many of us strive to detangle from dysfunctional family patterns to create a more conscious, empowered life. That’s been the crux of my work over the last 15 years and I call it, “conscious soul evolution”.
About 6 months ago, I had a number of my regular clients who were experiencing one of two things: 1) being stuck and/or 2) feeling regret or resentment over the past. If you’ve read my articles over the years, you will know that I have a number of tools to help with this: past life healing, Radical Forgiveness coaching, Brain Tek to rewire the brain’s neurological patterns, HeartMath coaching to de-stress and experience calm and better decision-making. So when all of these tools combined, were not facilitating the type of change I’m used to seeing in my clients, I interpreted this as the time to expand my work.
As it always happens, I had three different people mention a modality that I wasn’t familiar with: Family Constellation (FC) work. Like Radical Forgiveness, it’s not therapy. It’s a self-help process whereby a facilitator, on in this case, a “Constellator” guides a client to his/her own awareness about a new perspective relating to a current life issue. With this synchronistic confirmation, I dove into Family Constellation work for myself first, to get an inside experience for what it’s all about.
Much to my surprise and delight, FC encompasses a bigger, more comprehensive perspective than all my other systems training provided. In FC work, we take into consideration what can be called the “Family Soul”. And the family soul operates with what FC founder Bert Hellinger calls the Laws of Love.
According to Hellinger, the first law of love is Belonging. Simply put, all members of a family soul belong. Sounds simple right? But in actuality, what most of us have experienced on some level, is one or more members of a family (and maybe even ourselves) have been excluded. This exclusion can take make forms: being labeled a “black sheep”, disinheritance, a purposeful cut-off from a problematic family member, an untimely death, a disconnect from one or both parents in early childhood, an adoption and even a miscarriage.
When a family member has been excluded, what happens is that another person in the family, usually someone from a later generation, will unconsciously align with the fate of destiny of the excluded family member and will carry out some part of the other person’s fate. Whoa!
This might sound far-fetched and unbelievable. But bear with me for a minute and I’ll see if I can explain it.
First of all, it’s important to keep in mind that this all occurs on the unconscious level. No one assigns a family member this role but it happens in order to maintain equilibrium in the family system. Secondly, it’s important to know that relationships with family members (included and excluded), continue to develop even after death! Thirdly, the family soul encompasses a lot more than just blood relatives. It consists of people we bring in through marriage or other significant long-term roles. It includes the ex-partners of our current partners, and it includes generations of our ancestors, even ones we didn’t know. The family soul also includes individuals that have been harmed by our ancestors by acts of violence, theft of a fortune or other significant events that change the destiny of someone else.
Before I had wrapped my mind around all of these concepts, I had my first family constellation process facilitated by an experienced Constellator who has been involved with FC for many years. I’ll give you a personal example of what I experienced.
The issue I wanted help on from my coach was my youngest son’s migraine headaches. Nothing we have tried over the last four years has helped him overcome this debilitating condition. (I’ve tried everything- nutrition, food allergy testing, genetic testing, chiropractic, acupuncture, biofeedback, cognitive behavioral therapy, Reiki, pharmaceutical drugs, and even surgery to ablate the nerves in his head to name a few!)
As we went through the FC process, I was asked a simple question: Did anyone in your family or your parents’ families die early or out of order? My first response was, “No, I don’t think so”. My mother passed way at age 67 but this was not considered early or out of order (like a child dying before the parents.) Then my coach asked me to breathe and go deeper. Suddenly, I remembered that my dad’s older brother, the fourth of 4 boys, had died in in 1930 at age 5 from a head injury after falling out of a tree. Five years later, in 1935, my father was born as the “replacement son”. My dad was Son number 5. He was, according to my grandmother, the son who was never supposed to leave home. I still remember how my grandmother criticized my mom in front of all of us, for taking her youngest son away from her home. After all, my Grandmother would say, “I didn’t have him at age 40 for him to leave me!!”
To make matters even more interesting, my youngest son is my 5th child. Just like my dad was the 5th son in his family. In FC, I have five children, not four, because we have to count miscarriages. My first three children’s births were followed by a miscarriage. And Thomas was my fifth pregnancy and fourth live birth.
On top of this, I had purposefully excluded my father from my life when I was age 30. This is when I realized that he was not a safe person to have around my children. So I had a very good reason to exclude him. I excluded him from my life and from my heart. And the heart-part is where the family pattern unconsciously worked its way into the next generation, my own kids.
Sometimes we have good reasons for no longer staying in touch with a family member. Addiction, aggression, abuse, etc. But the problem comes in when we also decide to exclude them from our hearts and to feel disregard for them. I had blamed my dad, even though I had forgiven him, and thereby excluded him from my heart and excluded him from my family soul. And remember? If someone is excluded, a person in a future generation will unconsciously align with the excluded one to carry out their fate.
The reality is that I loved my dad very much but over the years, I had denied that love. My dad gave me the gift of life. And we also had many fun times together. But I didn’t have the knowledge or resources to understand how important it was to make room for him in my heart and in my Family Soul.
And thus, my fifth child may have unconsciously carried a hidden loyalty to my dad and my dad’s brother who died before my dad was even born. My son’s hidden loyalty showed up in a way that seems clear to me know, after having gone through the FC process: he has suffered with an unremitting pain on one side of his head, and this physical malady, if not resolved, will make it difficult if not impossible for him to leave home!
Pretty wild isn’t it? But it makes sense. With my FC Coach’s guidance, I went through the process of detangling the hidden loyalties and having a discussion, (energetically) with all of my family members involved, including my dad’s brother, my Uncle Wesley. After this process, I felt a tremendous sense of relief. A week or so later, without saying a word to anyone, my son started to perk up. He reported that his headaches were lessening. He was sleeping better. He needed less medication.
It’s been about 2 months now but he continues to improve. That’s enough evidence for me that FC is working.
I have had many other so-called coincidences since I’ve been studying and starting to practice FC under supervision. Here are a few:
- After creating a space in her heart for her partner’s ex-wife, the ex-wife called out of the blue and invited my client to an important family event.
- Another client had experienced a strained relationship with her daughter-in-law, but started to say healing sentences (part of FC) of support and gratitude for her being part of the family. (This process was done as part of the clients work, not face to face with the daughter-in-law). A week later, unsolicited, the daughter-in-law opened up to my client and shared that she had felt anxious and unaccepted by her mother-in-law. The two ended up sharing some deep feelings and are now on a new foundation for their relationship.
- A client who had suffered miscarriages and an abortion, was having conflicts with her husband because he just didn’t seem to have the same priorities as his wife. After we brought the unborn children back into my client’s heart, she was able to see that she had unconsciously turned away from her husband. He simply didn’t know how to help her with their losses. But she could see that he deeply loves her. So she began to say healing sentences to her husband (out loud and in person), and reports that they are now closer than ever before. She no longer feels discounted by him. Order was restored in her family.
These are just a few of the experiences I’ve had myself or witnessed in others through this amazing process. FC takes consciousness to another level. It untangles us from repeating the fate of past generations and shows us how to include all of our family members in our hearts.
If you are interested in this modality, I encourage you to seek out a FC Constellator in your area. Another opportunity is that you can help me as I become certified. Your case will be confidential but I will have the guidance and mentoring of one of my teachers to help. I am offering this service to three clients only, at a cost of 50% off my regular rate, or $75/hour for our time in sessions. All that is required is that you have a willingness to explore your family history for a brief time, and to be willing to interface in a different way with your past, in order to create a more conscious, empowered life today! If you are interested, email me: Ronna@sacredjourneyoftheheart.com
If you’ve met me in person, you may never know that I have a scar on my back. I have a scar that you most likely wouldn’t see because I don’t see it either. I don’t see it, because it’s on my back and you don’t see it because of how I, (like most of us) dress – with my midriff covered. We all have scars- and most of them are hidden… but they tell us something profound about healing if we are willing to share.
My scar is just right of the midline to my spine, between Lumber Disc# 3 and Lumbar Disc #4. There are 5 lumbar discs and they start at #1 on the top and #5 at the bottom. So you can see, from the image below, that my scar transects my midsection – and if we were to draw a straight line horizontally from back to front of my body, the scar would correlate to my navel on the front of my body.
So who cares? Why would I even mention this, much less on father’s day?
Because I have come to understand, integrate, and respect what this scar means to me, and in doing so, cultivate my ability to help others to heal at the deepest level of their being.
I am not going to cite other authors or well-known people in drawing conclusions about the significance of this area of the body that transects the human midsection at the navel. Why? Because we do not need “experts” to tell us what this area means. If we are on a conscious healing path of any kind, all we have to do is to close our eyes and FEEL into this area of our body that includes our navel in the front, and the spinal area of L3/L4 in the back.
Take a moment to stop reading, breathe into this area, and feel right into where the line on the diagram below, the “lumbar curvature”, is pointing to.
When we take a moment just to feel and breathe into this space, we will sense that we are connecting to our inner fortitude, and to our connection to life itself. Oriental traditions call this area the “ lower tan t’ien” (dantien) or the Sea of Qi. It is the area of the body where Essence and Spirit are stored, regenerated and/or stagnated. This is also the area of a “hidden” chakra, or energy center in the body. It is the gold chakra,also called the HARA chakra, between the yellow and orange centers. This energy center governs our sense of worthiness and ability to generate wealth.
Indeed, as we were nourished by the umbilical connection from our mother in utero, this area of the body took in and nourished our own life force energy or QI. All our nourishment and nutrition came from our mother’s body into our fetus’ body, right at the L3/L4 area.
And this area is related to our skeletal system that supports both flexibility and strength throughout life. When we tune into this area of our body, we can discern how we feel about the nature of life itself. Is life giving, nourishing and supportive? Or do we feel that life is disappointing, scarce and competitive?
Another way to put this this is: are we supported in life, by life itself and hence by people around us, OR, are we in it alone, and other people are potentially detracting at best, or destructive at worst?
My dad did NOT cause the scar on my back between L3/L4. At least not with a direct mechanism of injury. But he did, in fact, cut me off from my life source for a number of years. He told me that I was “bad” and that I was the CAUSE of the things that were happening to me as a young child. He cut me off from my truth at a very young age.
And the interesting part, is that I am not waving the victim flag today (or any other day) by blaming him for what happened. Because, in order for him to do the things he did to me, something horrible had to have happened to him. I know that. And I also know that his behavior towards me was inexcusable on a human, father-to-daughter level.
That being said, the scar on my back that resulted from the surgery to remove the tumor that grew there at age 13, has been a hidden, but motivating force in my own life to heal. And to heal on every level of my being… from the obvious (scar), to the less obvious (scared) and into the mystical (sacred). And the gift that I have cultivated through awareness of the deepest level of healing, has been to regain the sacred connection to my own life force, QI. In doing this deep personal work, I have had the privilege of being able to guide others on their unique healing pathways to become whole once again. I have been able to help others to reconnect to their inner source of energy, QI, to Life itself.
Many people get constricted from the natural flow of life source energy, or Qi. Because this is a subtle energy anatomy disorder vs a physical anatomy condition, it can be difficult to identify. Here are the major indications of a constricted flow of Qi:
feeling tired of life (burnout), an anxious feeling in the pit of the stomach, lack of direction and focus in general, pessimism, feeling that one can never do enough or “be” enough and difficulty with the emotions of happiness, joy and peace.
In order to restore the full flow of Qi, there are specific connections that need to be made on physical, mental, emotional and spiritual levels. When this healing happens, our energy is restored and life is beautiful again. Truly! Our scars are no longer signs of our wounds, but they become proof of our strength.
So, you will not see my scar when you meet me. But now, because I have shared this with you, we will both know that it is there as a reminder of the potential and the CHOICE to heal. It reminds me each day, of the courage and dignity that I possess deep within, knowing that I have regained my QI, my life force. The point of this article is to let you know that I KNOW, … at some level, we all have scars.
My dad did not physically put my scar on my back. My dad gave me life. Then, he cut me off from my own truth. But by finding my way back from this disconnect, I reconnected to my own core. And with the gift of having healed, I now offer help to others to do the same thing. If this resonates with you, please reach out. I am here. You are not alone. email@example.com
One of the most important questions we can ask is: Do I contribute or detract from situations in my life?” In other words, do I make this world a better place?
In the exploration of this question and of consciousness itself, at some point, we will begin to consider the level and quality of our “energetic vibration”. Our vibration is the signal that emanates from us, originating inside our bodies. This energetic signal is broadcast to the world around us. This vibration comes from many levels and the most powerful and easily measurable signal comes from our hearts.
In this article, I will touch on the primary components that make up our vibration and I will share ways that you can literally master your most important resource – your own energy, your entire “biofield”. The world “biofield” has become a new buzzword in many professions. The online Medical Dictionary defines is as:
“the subtle energy fields that permeate the living body.”
When you start to learn about your personal energy of biofield, you will be more equipped to become a “person of increase”. This is a term I learned from Mary Morrissey, the narrator of my film, Sacred Journey of the Heart. As Mary describes it, she gets up every day and asks, “How can I make this a great day? How can I be a person of increase?”
For example, my beloved life partner and chiropractic physician, Dr. Donald Backstrom, is one of the most amazing persons of increase I have ever been around. I’ve seen him change the entire demeanor of people he doesn’t even know. People at the cash register, people at the service station when his car needs a tune up, people he says hi to on the street. And always, every day, he is a person of increase for his patients that come to him for help when the traditional medical industry can’t find answers to their physical issues. It’s a privilege to be around people like this and I am truly blessed to be with him.
Whether you know it or not, you are always contributing positive or negative energy into the field around you.
So what’s the difference between persons of increase and persons of decrease?
Persons of Increase: You know that you are in the presence of a person of increase when you feel better around them. You laugh because they tend to laugh a lot. You smile because they are smiling. You are inspired to think of ways you can improve your life or contribute to your own well-being and the well-being of others. When you talk, they listen. You can tell and feel that they care. And these are authentic people who have full emotional lives, meaning that they are not fakey “it’s all good people”. They feel and are aware of all of their emotions and don’t avoid any feeling or label feelings as good or bad. Here are the energetic questions that drive a person of increase: “What can I give or contribute? How can I help? What can I do to make things better?”
Persons of Decrease: When you are around a person of decrease (or a net detractor in the field), you can feel their stress. Usually this type of person is either rushing or distracted. They may be texting while you are talking or on their computer when you are on the phone with them. When you leave their presence you think, “Whew, I’m glad to get outta here!” And the most challenging aspect of this type of person is that they are frequently judging and labeling. Judging you, themselves and the events in their immediate environment. Here are the energetic questions that drive a person of decrease: “What can I get, what’s in it for me? What’s next on my to do list? How do I get my needs met?”
It’s all about energy, and we are in charge of the energy we contribute to the field. As an energy practitioner, coach and guide, I help my clients learn to master their own energy field, and in doing so, lead more purposeful and heart-centered lives.
Here are the primary components that contribute to our overall vibration, ultimately determining whether we “increase or decrease” in the field around us.
Our Heart: Our heart emits the most powerful, measurable signal from our bodies to the field around us. Our hearts are broadcasting, beat-to-beat, our emotional state and the physiological balance (or for most people, imbalance) of our central nervous system. As Dr. Rollin McCraty of HeartMath shared in my film, our hearts are responsible for generating over 80-90% of the signals being sent from the two vagus nerves that connect our heart and brain to regulate the balance between these two important organs. The signals sent from our heart also largely determine the balance in two parts of our central nervous system. As he says, “it’s not even a close call – we have far more information being sent from heart-to-brain than the other way around.” (view the film for more information)
You can very easily learn how to regulate your heart’s signal and how to balance your central nervous system (meaning- to live in a condition of ease vs stress. As you most likely know, stress is the primary cause of most illnesses.) This has been the three decade long work of the Institute of HeartMath. I offer many heart math learning opportunities as a certified coach and instructor. If you are interested in personal HeartMath coaching, you can find out more about the 4 week Voyage to Heart Intelligence here (scroll down).
All of our physical organs. In fact, all of our physical organs send out frequencies measured in hertz.
In 1992, Bruce Tainio of Tainio Technology, an independent division of Eastern State University in Cheny, Washington, built the first frequency monitor in the world. Tainio has determined that the average frequency of the human body during the daytime is 62-68 [M]Hz. A healthy body frequency is 62-72 [M]Hz. When the frequency drops, the immune system is compromised. Check out these very interesting findings:
Genius Brain Frequency 80-82 MHz
Brain Frequency Range 72-90 MHz
Normal Brain Frequency 72 MHz
Human Body 62-78 MHz
Human Body: from Neck up 72-78 MHz
Human Body: from Neck down 60-68 MHz
Thyroid and Parathyroid glands are 62-68 MHz
Thymus Gland is 65-68 MHz
Heart is 67-70 MHz
Lungs are 58-65 MHz
Liver is 55-60 MHz
Pancreas is 60-80 MHz
Staying healthy is the best way of taking care of our physical body frequencies!
Our chakras: Our chakras, or subtle body energy centers are both generating signals as well as responding to our inner and outer environment. Learning how to balance our chakras is a very empowering way of mastering our personal biofield. You can get a Biofield Viewer scan to get a picture of your chakras, aura, organs and much more. This amazing technology is available in the Chicago area through my colleague, Astera Manis at http://www.holistichealingchicago.com/.
There are many websites dedicated to education on the 7 traditional chakras. However, in my research and work, the 7 traditional chakras represent an incomplete and outdated system! I teach about the 12 major chakra centers, which include the 5 Aquarian chakras that are located in between the traditional 7. Learning how to consciously activate and balance the 5 Aquarian chakras can literally “fill in the missing pieces” of your life.
The 5 Aquarian chakras govern the following: “higher mind functions” such as clairvoyance and clair-audience, the ability to express clearly from your heart, heart-based leadership, worthiness, personal purpose and the ability to determine truth. And they also govern our sense of inter-connectedness (vs. co-dependence or disconnect).
My webinar, The Triple Heart Healing program delves deep into an understanding of the 12 chromatic chakras and instructs you on how to use your “hidden hearts” to heal from emotional distress. For more details scroll down to the Triple Heart Healing Webinar information here.
Our aura: Our aura is the subtle energy that surrounds our physical body and is a result of the sum of all of our other systems, chakras, organs, meridians, etc. We can learn how to manage our aura and how to use it to provide energetic support and protection in our daily lives. When I see an aura imbalance in my clients, I know that it originates in some other part of the energy anatomy. I can “see” auras remotely, meaning you don’t have to be in the same room as me for me to get a read on your auric field. If you are interested in a personal session that includes advice and suggestions to master your aura, please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
Our acupuncture meridians: Just as there are 12 major chakra centers in the body, there are 12 major acupuncture meridians! The classical Chinese explanation is that energy or Chi, (life force) flows throughout the body and over its surfaces. These channels are rivers of energy which are referred to as meridians. There are about 400 acupuncture points along the meridians. Just like the chakras, the meridians transmit and reflect the overall state of our being.
I highly recommend acupuncture, acupressure and other related eastern modalities. My partner, Dr. Donald Backstrom incorporates acupuncture in his chiropractic practice. He uses an Acugraph device which quickly scans your 12 meridians and then he balances them with cold lasers and acupressure. It’s really an amazing technology. If you are in the Chicago area, click here to learn about this holistic practice: http://backstromwellness.com/
Our emotions and level of emotional mastery. Lack of emotional mastery is the major cause for almost all disputes, relationship conflicts and misunderstandings. What this leads to ultimately, is living a big chunk of life through the subconscious and unconscious mechanisms of projection, blame, suppression, repression and denial. You can change this but you have to really put effort into it, like anything else!
The fact is, we are not taught about emotions, why we have them in the first place, and what we can do to become more adept at managing our emotional energy. The best book that has ever been written about emotions in my opinion, is The Language of Emotion, by Karla McClaren. And the best catch-phrase about emotions was coined by John Bradshaw in his breakthrough book, Family Secrets: What you Don’t Know Can Hurt You. He said: “You can’t heal, what you don’t feel.” This is absolutely 100% true!
This is why I demonstrated exactly how to productively express challenging emotions in my film. I recently had a comment on GaiaTV (where my film is streaming online) that is a perfect example of how challenging it is for people to understand the purpose of expressing challenging emotions. If you haven’t seen it, you might want to watch my film on Gaia and see if you can discern why the viewer was so upset by my emotional scene in Chapter Two of the film called: The Emotional Heart- How We Heal. Click here for the link to the film’s page on GaiaTV.
Our mindset and thoughts: This category is one that most people are aware of and are comfortable with discussing and debating. It is still the prevailing paradigm that “our thoughts create our reality”.
Most of us know that if we spend the day thinking negative and gloomy thoughts, our day doesn’t go very well. And if we choose to think positive and uplifting thoughts, we generally feel better and respond to our world in a more optimistic frame of mind.
But I always caution my clients about the trap that exists within what some have called the “Cult of Positivity.” This mindset exists with teachers and people who claim that you should only think positive things and if you do, your life will go along swimmingly. In other words, all the lights will be green, you will have your dream job, house and life partner and you will not have problems.
The “problem” with this is that when challenges happen as they do for everyone, with this mindset, we tend to blame ourselves for failing to be positive and thus creating the bad thing in our lives. I have worked with quite a few clients who have been deeply wounded by this mentality. Our work together has been to get back to a realistic perspective on life and to accept that sometimes, bad things happen to good and positive people. And it’s not because they had bad thoughts in the first place! Just look around the world and you can see the deep soul-damage created by this pitfall. Would it be fair, compassionate or even reasonable to tell the parent of someone whose loved one lost their life in a terrorist attack to say that their bad thoughts created the experience?!! Not at all – and this is where the damage happens.
We all have a responsibility to live the best life we can, accepting the good and the challenging parts without ego aggrandizement or blame. That being said, if you notice you are predominately dwelling in negative thoughts (usually based on past circumstances) you can absolutely make the choice to shift this. My blog article on how to change this pattern can be a good starting place: http://sacredjourneyoftheheart.com/blog/?p=333
In addition to all of the above, our personal practices of meditation, self-care and other daily activities are very important and contribute to keeping us vital, balanced, healthy and alive! It takes practice, effort and commitment to live the best life can live. It IS possible to live consistently as a person of increase. The key part is learning to manage and master our personal energy field. And when we do this, we truly enjoy being a human being and all that life has to offer!
Stay tuned for my upcoming webinar on HeartMath’s Journey of Heart Intelligence!
If you can answer the following question with one word, from the deepest place of your soul, you will undoubtedly see your whole life in a different light. You will have clarity on how the higher aspect of the law of attraction works and you will also have the capacity to literally change your interactions with people and the world around you.
So what is the question? More on that in a minute, but first, what is this higher aspect of the law of attraction I’m talking about?
It’s not really the law of attraction, but a higher law in the 12 universal laws of creation. It’s called the Law of Reciprocity and it is one of the 3 highest universal laws, law #9. The law of attraction is actually law #7 and is based upon duality and cause and effect. The law of reciprocity is connected with confluence, a coming together of many possibilities that work in harmony with each other (vs. in opposition.) If you are in opposition, you often see only one choice or one outcome OR you are dismayed because you don’t want what you are getting!
When you are working with the Law of Reciprocity, your consciousness is focused on the big picture and how people and resources involved contribute to many outcomes and experiences. The consciousness of this law is based on the question; “what can I contribute, how can I help, what principal is being served for a greater good”? This is very different from the law of attraction is that is largely focused on “I, me and personal outcomes and desires.”
If you are interested in exploring more about this, I invite you to delve into my 4 part online class. Learning how to work consciously with the higher laws is very empowering.
So what is the one question?
The question is this: What are you seeking in this life? It can also be posed this way: What is your primary purpose in life? Or even more simply, What are you here to learn?
And the key is that you must answer this question (in any of the forms above), with one word and one word only.
As an intuitive spiritual counselor, I can share with you with that most people engage with me to explore and answer questions about career, relationships, finances, and healing from past difficulties and traumas. These are all valid topics. But resolving these issues and the questions associated with them (Who, what, when, why and how), would require more than one word and the answer would not illuminate your life in the way I describe in the first paragraph.
I’ll share with you some of the most common one-word answers and then explore how answering this question will change your life.
What are you seeking in this life? Examples of one word answers:
You can easily see from this list of possibilities that the other variations of this question, “What is your primary purpose in life? What are you here to learn?”, can be answered by the same word. And if you assess your life honestly, you will see that the one word applies to every issue in your life.
So let’s explore one of these words and see how this process works.
In my case, I know that I am here to learn about acceptance. When I deeply pondered this question with the purpose of boiling the answer down to one word, I realized that my whole life has been about accepting myself and accepting others. It’s not about “getting or being” accepted. It is simply to learn to accept what is, without needing to change things or people. The very thing that I have been seeking, I realized, has also been seeking me my whole life, in the experiences, people and lessons I’ve learned.
The poet Rumi expressed the simplicity of how this works in this way:
So in my case, the acceptance I have been seeking, has also been seeking me. And the way “acceptance” has been seeking me is through life experiences and people that have both challenged and affirmed my willingness to accept what is, just as it is.
Most of you are aware that I experienced prolonged and debasing abuse as a child. I disclosed this in my film, Sacred Journey of the Heart, and it took a lot of courage to do this. But courage has not been the primary theme of my life. I have had to be courageous in order to survive. But I have spent decades learning to accept myself and the situations in my life, as they are.
(And yes, I am familiar with Byron Katie’s seminal work, Loving What Is, published in 1994. I highly recommend it. But at the time I was working with her principals, I was living largely in the “mind” – I was disconnected from my heart and my true feelings. So I wasn’t able to truly live the principles of acceptance in her work. For me, the Work was a mental exercise in futility.)
But everything finally came into crystal clarity when I decided that it was time to just “be” with the depth of suffering I felt inside at not being able to change things that were happening. And to admit to myself how difficult acceptance has been for me. Even with all the tools and techniques I’ve learned over the years, when challenges would come up, my inner critic would take over and start berating and flagellating myself for not doing enough, for messing up or for being powerless to change things. I would try to figure out how to fix things or change myself so “bad” things wouldn’t happen again. Undoubtedly, you can see how my childhood abuse caused this type of critical self-analysis.
But when I finally allowed myself to just sit with the rage, the grief, the frustration, the annoyance, and many other emotions that were living inside me (in the lower chakras, by the way where most of this “stuff” is stuffed), I felt a quiet transformation taking place. I wasn’t trying to change anything, feel better or say any affirmations. I just sat with the feelings. In fact, this was my first step to acceptance.
I had a specific situation that was bringing me to this place, one that I had struggled with off and on most of my adult life. Without going into details, it has to do with a person close to me, that has periodically and unexpectedly cut me out of her and her family’s life off and on over the last 25 years.
Each time she made forays to reconnect, I would say, “0k, let’s try this again”. I am a middle child, and an optimist when it comes to relationships. But inevitably, I would mess up according to her and she would send me a letter in the mail (with a couple of our childhood photos each time) and describe my latest transgression.
I thought I had finally let go of the relationship and the whole constellation of feelings around the loss of this person in my life and in my kid’s lives. But then a different kind of letter came in the mail. It was an invitation to a very joyous occasion. Coming out of the blue like this after more than a year of no contact, it was a shock and a surprise. Why now? Why was I invited and no one else in my family was? Was I now suddenly accepted by her for some reason? And it brought back all the feelings of loss that I thought I had dealt with. The loss of connection, the loss of sharing our lives and our expanding families, the loss of sharing good memories of the past and more.
Instead of jumping to reconnect this time, I let myself feel the anger, sadness and grief. And it hurt. It hurt to the core of my soul and deep into my gut. My heart felt like it was literally going to break. When I quit trying to let go of my feelings, and the situations that created them, I just breathed deep down into my lower chakras and accepted what was there. I wasn’t wallowing in these feelings, I was just accepting them by being present to them.
And then I had the realization that all of my major life experiences have been about acceptance. When I let this sink in, my life’s lessons came into crystal clarity. I have been fervently seeking acceptance and acceptance had been seeking me. It had been seeking me in many forms. In the repeated rejections of a person I loved very deeply, my quest to learn about acceptance kept showing up. Could I learn to accept her rejections of me? Could I learn to accept that there was absolutely nothing I had done or said that was wrong? Could I learn to understand that the actual experience of being rejected was just the energy of acceptance itself, seeking me?
On the surface, it may look like I was doing a dance with the Law of Attraction – the polarity based law that would say that I was attracting the opposite of acceptance by fearing rejection. And thereby getting rejected. This would be correct to a large extent for most of the years that I had spent in this dance of acceptance/rejection with this person, and with her calling the shots in our relationship. But the shift that finally happened by feeling my feelings, rather than letting them go, was that I entered into a different dance, a dance with the higher laws, the Law of Reciprocity and the Law of Confluence.
When I saw the invitation in a different light, and allowed myself to be with my feelings about it, instead of needing to be the one who was wronged, everything shifted. I saw the experience of her rejections as the energy of acceptance seeking me. I was then able to go to the event and see new possibilities, and be open to a new way of relating to everyone involved. I didn’t “need” them to represent an oppositional force. I didn’t need to be accepted by the people involved. I didn’t need to pretend to be someone who I am not. And many new possibilities are emerging for myself and others around me.
Ultimately, the invitation I received in the mail was an invitation from life itself. And the invitation from life read: “You are invited to accept what is, and all the possibilities that come with meeting acceptance full on, IN conscious awareness and with your heart wide open.”
In accepting the invitation, I found acceptance itself. Instead of “letting go” of my feelings, and letting go of my lost relationship, true acceptance has been about letting it be. Not trying to change or fix the situation, not denying my feelings about it, but simply accepting what is, as is.
As I reflect on my life’s challenges and successes, all of them have contained this essential lesson of acceptance.
So what is your life’s primary lesson?
What is seeking you? If it is peace, are you willing to see that experiences of conflict are actually the energy of peace seeking you?
If it is belonging, are you willing to see that the experience of loneliness is actually belonging seeking you?
If it is abundance, are you willing to see that the experience of scarcity is actually abundance seeking you?
Are you open to allowing the very thing that you are seeking, to find you in every single situation, and in so doing, experience the many possibilities the universe is sending your way to fulfill your life’s mission here?
I am now ready to share with you the deepest meditation I have created, one that will bring the depth of your life’s purpose into crystal clarity, so that from this moment on, you may live life beyond attraction and in conscious confluence with your life’s mission.
I invite you to join me on Thursday, June 1st at 5 pm Pacific time to experience it!
~~Exploring where we are, and the primary reason we get stuck along the path to awakening.
~”The thing that you are seeking, is also seeking you.”~ Rumi
Over the last few decades of my life, I have been involved in the quest to “know myself”, to live the best life I am capable of and to serve others as they seek to evolve.
Most of us would call this process the path of spiritual seeking. Most of the time, this path is fueled by the desire to understand and to alleviate suffering. And it is also inspired by a desire to answer the deep personal questions of “Who am I?”, “Where did I come from?”, and “What is my purpose?”
I have always highly valued the phrase that is inscribed in the forecourt of the Temple of Apollo at Dephi, “Gnothi seauton”, the Greek phrase which translates as “know thyself”. And like you, I have been exploring the essence of self and soul through many modalities and teachings.
Our Basic Energy Makeup
Basically, when we search for a time to know ourselves better, we discover that we are made up of many parts and many different types of energy. At the most basic level, during our human experience, we are made up of three parts: Personality, Body, and Soul. The combination of all three of these is what I call the “Self”. (For this basic definition, I include both mind and emotions at part of the Body). While we are in an incarnate life, we exist as the Self, an individual, unique compilation of physical attributes, a personality made up of emotions and thoughts and spiritual awareness/beliefs and energies. When we are engaging with the purest aspect of Self, I call it the “Essence Self”. This is the part of our energy makeup that consists of our Soul and consciousness that is free from judgment and reactions.
Once we physically die, we obviously shed our bodies and we also shed much of our thought-based judgments and emotion-based reactivity. Often, when I see people’s souls in “between-life settings”, I see the Essence Self very clearly. There are still thoughts and emotions. There is still an individual soul with a pure expression that is not driven by ego. And I see an energy body that is distinct, but obviously not solid or physical. So after we die, we still exist, yes, as a soul, but a soul with individual awareness of its Essence Self.
So after death, our “Essence Self” still exists. The Essence Self consists of the library or record of all of our experiences in this life and all others we have lived, and it contains our basic thoughts, emotions and conceptions about our experiences, and it is enveloped, surrounded and infused by our soul.
So it is my observation and experience that when we die physically, we are much more than just a soul. We are a soul that still has the ability to think, feel and draw conclusions about our lifetime and from here, to make some new plans. When judgments and reactions drop away, as they do afterlife, we exist as an energy being that consists of a soul, and with a unique consciousness that still has the ability to think, to feel and to plan. To reiterate, we exist as the Essence Self.
The Awareness of the pure Essence Self – The Golden Treasure of Being
When we attain a certain level of spiritual development, whether in life or afterlife, we become closer to the pure Essence Self, the individualized spark of consciousness that emerged from the Source, infused with Love and Beauty. The pure Essence Self knows itself as Love and experiences itself as Beautiful. It does not judge, it does not strive, it just IS. It retains its memory of all things that have been experienced and learned. And these experiences and lessons are held dearly in the Heart of the Essence Self as the Golden Treasure of Being. What is the Golden Treasure of Being? It is a knowing. A knowing that is very simple. And essentially, the most profound truths are always simple. This is how the pure Essence Self describes the experience of incorporating the Golden Treasure of Being:
I Am Love and Beauty
If you are wondering how I know this, the answer is that when I channel for people, meaning, I enter a state of consciousness that is beyond time, space, and physical limitations. I experience each person’s pure Essence Self. I can see the emanation of each Essence Self, including the Soul, as it originally emerged from Spirit, I can hear the vibration of the unique Essence Self, and I can feel the beauty of each individual. Beauty in this sense, has nothing to do with physical appearances. It is related to a state of inner being. For many of us, it is to have recovered from the false teaching of original sin and thus to know ourselves as we were originally created, from the pure essence of Love itself.
The Progression of Spiritual Development
Knowing how difficult this process can be, I have a deep sense of reverence and respect for the activity of spiritual seeking, based on the desire to Know Thyself. I have seen and experienced a progression of spiritual development that consists of three basic levels. These three levels are also very simple and contain the steps of attaining mastery while still engaged in a human life. (CAVEAT: the act of categorizing itself can set off the ego into comparing, judging and criticizing self and others… if you find yourself doing this while reading on, just be aware of your thoughts and feelings. Don’t try to change them or bypass them.)
Level 1: Human being, being Human
Level 2: Human being, being Spiritual
Level 3: Spiritual Human being, being Peace .
And at each level, a different aspect of consciousness presides over all of the others.
Level 1 consciousness: Personality/Ego-based
Level 2 consciousness: the Higher Self and/or the Spiritualized Ego
Level 3 consciousness: The Essence Self
At level 1 consciousness, a person is primarily driven by his personality and has little to no mastery over emotions, and little to no awareness about the power of thoughts. A “human being, being human”, reacts to people and situations and usually feels that life is random, and that we are subject to fate and luck. A human being, being human usually lives life in drama, conflict and blame. In this state, we are very devoted to our “stories” as being the determining factor for why we are experiencing challenges. At this level of being, the primary phrase is “I can’t because”, meaning, I cannot be-the-cause of the situations in my life… and I cannot change my fate without an act of God, or winning the lottery or getting some other windfall of resources.
When describing the conflicts and challenges in their lives, at level 1, people start most sentences with the names or pronouns of other people. “She caused this to happen, he wronged me by doing x-bad thing, she made me feel x emotion, they won’t let me… etc” The primary emotional energies that emit from a personality-driven human being’s heart are anxiety and fear. If this state has persisted long enough, it often shifts to apathy and depression.
In this level 1 state of being, the Ego runs the show.
Freud’s description of the ego can be summarized as this: The ego is the organized part of the personality structure that includes defensive, perceptual, intellectual-cognitive, and executive functions. Some conscious awareness resides in the ego, although not all of the operations of the ego are conscious.
The in-charge Ego
When the ego is in charge, the psychological mechanisms at work are projection, suppression, repression, denial and blame among others. This way of interacting with others wreaks havoc on our relationships and is the cause of almost all relationship discord and break-ups.
In other words, the ego often polarizes situations into black and white, innocence and blame and right and wrong. Most relationships at this level of engagement are involved in some form of “right-fighting” and “if-only’ing”, meaning, if only he would change, then I would feel better.
The key thing to remember here, is that we need our ego! We need it to function in the material world, to make decisions and to take certain actions. It is an essential part of our human being make-up. But if it stays in charge, with all if its defense patterns, we stay frustrated and disconnected from our Essence Self.
We all know this state very well, because in order to be motivated to search for deeper meaning and a state of self-empowerment, we have to choose to explore a more self-actualizing path. We discover the importance of getting in touch with our higher selves, the aspect of our consciousness that is able to bridge from our personality to our pure Essence Self and soul. Searching for answers and for a better way of engaging with life and those around us, are what sets most of us on the spiritual path.
Level 2 Transition
At this point, at the beginning of Level 2 of consciousness, we question, we read, we learn, we meditate, dream, journal, and seek out teachers who resonate at a level of consciousness that we are seeking for ourselves. (And remember, the thing that you are seeking is also seeking you!) We go to workshops, listen in to online events with experts sharing their teachings of how we can be or do better (a great way of learning by the way, in your own home!), and we use our life experiences as opportunities to grow, rather than excuses to be stuck in the same old patterns.
Over time, we become more empowered, less ego-driven and more aware of our emotional choices and of our patterns of thoughts and behaviors (habits). We start to experience a transformation in our way of being. Instead of feeling disempowered, we feel enthusiastic and alive, excited and motivated. We stop blaming others for the conditions in our own lives and we start practicing spiritual principals of acceptance, compassion and peace, to name a few. We begin to feel more in the flow of life. We may experience great alleviation of personal pain and suffering. We are less reactive to others and have more conscious choice over our responses. We experience ourselves as being capable of creating lasting change in our lives. We stop identifying with our stories, and see our past as simply a path that got us to this moment of now.
The primary emotional energies that emit from a human beings heart at this time, interestingly enough, are both trust and doubt. If we doubt more than we trust during this process of evolving, our heart energies can shift into confusion and “over-thinking”.
The Spiritualized Ego and its Agenda and Tactics
Interestingly enough, it is exactly at this time, well into the spiritual search, that we often get waylaid by the ego, sneaking up on us again. The ego enjoys being in charge so much, that without conscious awareness, it will put on the clothing of a spiritualized self, and use spiritual principles to avoid authenticity, pain and discomfort, just like it does at level 1!
Why? Because the Spiritualized Ego still has an agenda. And it is that agenda that set us on the search in the first place. What is the agenda? To avoid pain, to understand why things are the way they are, and to be happy, living in our purpose and free. Sometimes, we are even motivated by the desire to be awakened or enlightened! And there is truly nothing wrong with these desires and goals, it’s just that they are not really what leads us to the pure Essence Self. It is not what leads us to peace.
When the Spiritualized Ego takes over during this part of the search, it will attach, avoid, and abstract. It attaches to teachings, teachers and gurus as being the “answer or the way”. It avoids painful emotions and difficult relationships. It abstracts from the actual situations and circumstances of life and when this happens, the spiritualized ego’s favorite phrase is, “It’s all good”.
There is a kind of fake happiness or inauthentic peace in the energy field of a person at this time. We’ve all most likely tried this out as a way of being, or found ourselves telling people who care about us, “I’m fine”, when we are really not fine. We smile on the outside, but inside we are not happy and certainly, we are not at peace. We secretly (or so we think), judge others as “less than us”, and we can very harshly judge ourselves if we don’t perfectly follow the spiritual principles that we are attempting to live by.
Here are some signs of the spiritualized ego being in charge:
- Seeing others as less evolved, and thus feeling “better than”,
- Believing that there is a goal to attain, or someplace to arrive at when get “there”,
- Holding on to Utopian ideals for the whole world,
- Having difficulty changing she/her (or he/him) into I/me in order to see your own projections,
- Avoiding emotions by intellectualizing, and valuing thinking over feeling
- Never or seldom expressing or admitting to anger – and if we do, we do it in a triggered state,
- Being harsh with oneself when we make mistakes, still expecting perfection
- Faking peace in front of others,
- Holding prejudices about others, groups of people, religious beliefs, and in general, those different from us,
- Criticizing others, especially family and those closest to us, with the internal judgment that they are not our “true” soul family. (This is a tricky one: this belief is ego-driven for until we accept that our family IS our soul family, we cannot accept what is and the choices we made to incarnate with this group of souls.)
- Desiring to know where were are or to measure or rate ourselves on any external scale.
- Striving to be spiritual!
At the stage, one very prominent phrase is “I can’t believe it..” This is based on the emotion of incredulity and underlying it, is the fear of never being or having enough. For example, a person will say, “I can’t believe that x person did y thing.” Or internally, you say to yourself, “I can’t believe I did that again!” We judge ourselves, we judge others, and we come face to face, if we are willing to be honest, with our Spiritualized Ego.
The Gift of the Spiritualized Ego
When this happens, in fact, it is a very good sign! This means we are ready for a deeper dive into the pure Essence Self. So if you find that you are dealing with an aspect of the Spiritualized Ego, don’t use this as another reason to judge yourself! See it as an opportunity to evolve. And the process of evolution is one that takes time, trust and patience. Just like the regular ego, the spiritualized ego is not bad. It is an essential part of the process of evolving our consciousness to another level of being.
Transition to the Essence Self
So how do we make the shift into Level 3, the Spiritual Human being, being peace? The key that I have found as I dive more deeply into this level of being, is the willingness to experience what is, as is, without the need to change it. This means, being honest and integral. And it means, being willing to dive into what is within, in order to just be with it, rather than to change it. So for most of us, it means that we must be willing to sit with the pain of our self-judgment for a time. We must be willing to admit to the presence of ALL our emotions, our anger, our grief, our sadness, and even our hatred. And then at the deepest level, we stop striving and we are content to allow ourselves to just be, without striving to evolve.
The Spiritual Human Being, being peace, does not try to “let go” of anything. It seeks to incorporate, by way of actual acceptance, all things that exist within. Letting go can be the biggest of all spiritualized ego traps! Because you cannot let go of what you have not accepted. You can’t let go of being confused or doubtful without going within and sitting with the confusion and the doubt and letting it BE, vs. letting it go. And you certainly cannot let go of anger without allowing it to be touched into and to be felt and acknowledged. I have seen sublimated anger in many people and I’ve felt it in myself. It actually simmers in the body in some forms of inflammation, fungal infections and other low-level chronic pain. (I will explore the topic of dealing with anger in another article.)
The spiritualized ego will say, with great emphasis, “This has to stop! I’m done with this!” By contrast, the Essence Self will choose to dive with the “this”, whatever it is, with curiosity and the willingness to experience the feelings and the energy inside that is perpetuating them.
Existing in the Essence Self
Essentially, the Essence Self, at the third level of consciousness, accepts what is, without judgment. This is the consciousness that I usually see when I am observing afterlife or in-between life experiences. But we have examples of living masters who have attained this state, before they physically die. They have left a legacy of teachings, usually based on love, that accept what is, without having to change it. They feel and express anger but not from a reactive state. Their anger comes from great compassion, usually when they see others being harmed, deceived or belittled. They express anger as a creative resource of a human being. This is appropriate anger and can be expressed without losing internal peace.
The primary energy that emits from a Spiritual human being, being peace is, obviously peace. And it is also acceptance and curiosity. When we are in the presence of such a human being, if we allow it, we can be deeply impacted by this feeling of peace. This is a peace without words, also referred to as the “peace that surpasseth understanding.”
I am certainly not yet able to act from the Essence Self all, or even most the time yet. I am not professing that I know the exact steps to mastery or how to live in the state I call a Spiritual human being, being peace. But I do know, that the more I am willing to dive into my heart, and to experience what is truly there, the hopes, the fear, the pains, the pleasures, the doubts and the knowingness, the LESS I sit in judgment of myself or others. And during these times, I experience a true feeling of deep peace.
Exploring the third level of being
I invite you to explore with me, the process of transitioning into the third level of being, the Spiritual Human Being, being peace. It is a process and a practice. And sometimes, the only thing that we are called to remember is the simplicity of Rumi’s poetic phrase, that “the thing you are seeking, is also seeking you.”
When we find peace, true peace, at this third level of progression, we find the Golden Treasure of Being. During these times, our Essence Self shines through and we encompass our pain and our joy, our struggles and our triumphs and we truly see, feel and know ourselves as pure essence. In this place, our hearts open and we can authentically experience the feeling of this phrase, “I am Love and Beauty”.
And that is peace.
For private sessions, please contact me at: email@example.com